Simplicity

Yesterday, I spoke about complexity. Today the opposite. Simple. Unpretentious. Well Darcy would chose unpretentious because he thinks in larger words. Me. I like simple. My mind may be swirling complex thoughts around in my brain but the rest of me likes simple.

I never cared for material things, they never held much sway with me. I never wished for the biggest house on the block nor the fanciest car, nor the most exquisite jewelry and clothes. I like simpler things such as simple meals over the multi-course ones. For my Christmas dinner I make prime rib - good gosh - what could be easier than that. Throw some salt and pepper on it stick a thermometer in it and shove it the oven and wait until 135 degrees to take it out. Of course I do add backed potatoes (another simple dish) and kale if I can get it (my family tradition) salad and cheesecake made from somewhere else. Simple. It gives me time to spend with my friends and family.

I think some of the most popular stories on the JA ff sites are simple ones or ones with simple messages. I understand how hard it is to follow a story week to week or heaven forbid unregular postings. Me, I have to just about read a story over again if there has been any time between postings. When I pick up a book I am done within 48 hours. I never could lay it down and read a chapter at a time. Maybe that is why I was obsessed to get my story finished. Well, back to simple. When I prepare my story for putting out in a book I have many changes coming and they all do simplify the story line.

I use the reactions of the readers to gauge when a chapter works and when it does not. There are always little messages like this week - complexity reared its ugly head. I see better ways to present information in the early chapters which will help everyone understand the theme of the story. Simplify but keep it tense, suspenseful and a little complex. lol

I chose to create new men in order to contrast Darcy's behavior with those features most women like - charm, humor, mystery. Blake, Rawlings, Kent. You could say I split Darcy into 3 pieces and we have been spending our time with each piece of him. Darcy is charming when he wants to show it, funny with those of his circle, and mysterious. I did not go into this story with that "symbol" in mind but it is there underneath it all. When Blake charmed Elizabeth we wanted that to be Darcy; when Rawlings looks upon a scene and utters some of his witty thoughts, we wanted that to be Darcy. When Kent stands in the background and observes the actions while thinking about what he wants then we can assume that is a side to Darcy as well. He does sit and watch. I have kept Kent in the background. His story is really in London. I have kept the information about him rather simple. He is tradesman's son with a chip on his shoulder and he wants in where the in people go. He has a plan and he will not be able to put it in place until they return to London. Now London will see Darcy come to the forefront. It is sorta like Blake and Rawlings the first half and Darcy and Kent the second and Bingley as the common denominator. Darcy brought RAwlings into the fold; Bingley brought Kent. Blake and Bingley prowl the social scene together - they do fancy the women; there are alliances of all kinds that happen.

Well I need to provide a simple look back on the first 25 chapters to help the readers. something that can be quick and simple to read and get the gist of the story. Maybe a few of the readers that opted out earlier will return with the promise Darcy is in the forefront. Don't know and really I can't worry about them. but for a few of the readers that mentioned the complexity perhaps a simple summary will do.

Off to fix some eggs and bacon. Feel like having some today. I like mine over light and then the eggs are placed on top of the toast Simple. and i always eat the bacon with my fingers. shame! even in restaurants. Unless of course it flops around then I don't eat it all. I like my bacon crisp. very crisp. I like my yolks runny and my toast buttered with butter. simple.

till tomorrow when I waste more of my time rambling about nothing much.

gayle;

Complexity

I had a few readers this week indicate my storyline is complex. It is true but then I always thought in complex terms. Nothing has ever appeared to be simple to me. Everything had its own degree of well degrees. Even the weather. It is never just hot or cold. It is hot and steamy with sweat dripping out of every pore in my body (which happens in the summertime in the south) or hot but clear and with a breeze permitting my hair to flutter around my face. Cold has its own degrees but I must admit cold and dry is preferable to cold and damp. Why is it after a snowstorm (I am from Washington DC area) the next day is cold and dry. It makes it easier to dig your car out from the mess.

All people are complex. I have been watching the TV show Heroes. Now that is complex but still not to difficult to follow if you are a complex person like me. My best friend is watching them too and depends upon me to keep the story straight for her. I usually can remember little things that happened six episodes earlier; she cannot. I can guess the direction of the scene; she cannot. I can say "That's his mother" before it becomes known even though there were no clues. She assumed it was just another "hero" with some power he wanted. Well, I see the nuances the writers have added which is easier for me watching something than reading something. I never really try to ferret it out when reading stories. I prefer to just get lost in the words and let the writer led me wherever he/she wants. But TV and movies are different. Maybe it is a visual thing. I find I can say the next line of dialogue and often do! lol that drove my oldest son nuts. My youngest son is the same way.

Stephen and I have a game we play (well this is about one of them). We use the remote and flash movie channels up on the screen and the first one that yells out the name and any specifics is the winner. He is better with the newer crappy movies and I call them and I am better at the deliciously old classics. He thinks the old classics are well not classic at all. Now he liked Pulp Fiction which I did not. I like Its a Wonderful Life and he hated it. lol Anyway we guess not only the movie but shout out the scene or next line. My oldest son hates the game because he is not as quick.

We did play a trick on my oldest son one time. I had just had TV put in his room (he was an honor role student in advanced studies unlike his brother that refused to go to school - so the honor student got the TV). It was hooked up to cable the same as the family one in the living room. Well, Stephen and I took the remote from the Living room and took turns going outside and would stand at Edward's window and change the channel. The remotes worked through glass. lol We kept this up for a while. Poor Ed. He demanded I call the cable company and tell them the damn thing was broken. I would go in his room and wait with him for it to happen again and when it did not I would leave. Of course, Stephen was outside the window ready to change the channel once I left. Was this a mean trick? I guess so. Would it have worked on Stephen. NO. He would have figured it out as would I. Edward was told that day - I don't believe on letting tricks go on forever and we did have a laugh about it. Edward is a good soul with a tender heart and has a fun sense of humor. He was used to us and I think he liked being the center of attention too. He tells this story all the time so he did not find it so cruel.

Well, complexity is my thought this morning. I have decided to add a scene with Darcy looking back on his entire stay in NP while riding towards London. Sort of a recap to help my readers. A lot has happened and I have left many clues some of which I will highlight and a few others, well, no. They shall remain locked in the reader's subconsciousness.

Yes, complexity is the game of life. We are made up of good and bad, strong and weak, happy and sad, brilliant and stupid, funny and boring, arrogant and compassionate, talent and no talent, meanness and niceness, and love and hate and every degree between them. Each person uses their degrees differently. Some cultivate the good while others allow the bad to bubble forth. But we all have them and that is what makes writing characters so much fun. Which degree of person's makeup will come out on the page. Yes, studying human nature was Jane Austen's forte I think. She was one of the best. We loved her couple and hated their enemies even though they were just regular people.

well, need to find a way to take the complexity out of my housework! lol

till tomorrow.

gayle

Posting days

today is another posting day! I don't know if I should stand up and cheer or hide under the covers. lol I had typed in a recent post about anxiety about writing that the I only fear silence. It is true it is the lack of response that sets me in a dither. but then, who am I? I am a shameless lurker. lol well, not really. In Loving Memory is the story that caused me to actually post a comment somewhere. And then I posted at another. But I did not post regularly. shame on me. I had no idea what the silence from the reader does to the writer.

You begin to wonder--Have I lost yet another reader?--when a regular poster misses a week. Or the view count goes down. Where have they gone? What have I done?

I expected the popularity of my story to be limited to a smaller audience. It is plainly not a romance and it does not focus on THE COUPLE. Well, I was willing to take the risk because I had longed for a story that looked at the men's world. I have gotten away from it a little. We are getting ready to head back into the man's world. I have been focused on the Blake, Darcy and Elizabeth story. A little about Rawlings too. But life is a combination of events: social, financial, family, learning, playing, relaxing, slagfests (ok i just threw that in). You cannot completely separate each one into their own time periods. But in life you do have an event take center stage while the others fall into the background. For instance, when I had an extremely important meeting coming up when I was working and I was the one in charge and responsible it took all my attention. I worked on it at work and I thought about it constantly when away from work. My sons can attest to my single minded dedication to something. I am obsessive and compulsive when I have something I want to do.

I am so focused that other things are left undone. Bills, yes I ignored them when knee deep into a project. Thank goodness for bill paying services. I just schedule them. My money is sent electronically and then my bill paying service takes over. lol I just have to set the amount and when (monthly, quarterly, annually). I have not worried over bills since then and my credit rating has soared. lol I am free to focus my attention on things that matter to me.

I coached soccer when my boys were young. I was focused. I coached for 6 seasons. I was the only female coach, well, I did have sons. I had to learn to think like the men. And because I was the newest coach I got the leftovers for my team. I did not mind. they were all good boys and wanted to play and win. They did not know I never played the game, never saw the game and never understood the game. They just knew they had a coach that seemed to actually want them. Well, unfortunately no bill paying service was available at that time (but I digress, this paragraph is about soccer). I had one advantage over the men coaches. I tried new things since I did not know they were new. I had funny practices. In order to teach my team how to dribble with their feet, I made them practice with tennis balls. We played entire scrimmages with tennis balls. It was such a little ball compared to the the soccer ball that by the time they played the game they could out control the other team. I had other techniques - we played volleyball but with soccer balls and heads. I wanted them to learn how to head the ball. To cut this shameless bragging short, we came in 3rd place twice, 2nd place twice, and first place twice. My team was wonderful although they came from 15 different countries. I had boys from Iraq and Iran (and one of them had actually been whisked to America to avoid being taken to fight), Ethiopia, Chile, Korea, China, Columbia, Mexico, Canada, Italy, and a few other places I can not remember. they spoke English but their parents did not. It was entertaining when I had to give instructions on the locataion of the next game! lol And the fathers that were shocked a woman was coaching thier sons. Whoa. None to happy until we started winning. Then all was fine. A few even thanked me. lol Well I focused on the game. All the time. I wanted to win because I am a competitive person. I loved the competitions and I suppose that is why I put the games in my story. Couldn't have put the women in the games back in the regency time so I had to have a man's story. lol

Well, today I post. It is the final game and the winner of the horse is revealed. I suspect the readers have forgotten about it because Darcy was not one that was tied. I had toyed with the idea but dropped it pretty quick. this first half of the story is not about Darcy so much but about other aspects of life and other men. I needed you the reader to understand my new characters. I wanted you to get to know them before the second half. The time I took time to create these men was important because the second half of the story would not be as meaningful had I not given you these glimpses into the men. I know I have not told you their stories but is it not true when we meet new people it takes time for a relationship to build before their past is brought to light?

Well, we are nearing completion of that phase. their past will come hurling at you, the reader. And when it does, will you post? Or will you leave me in silence? Well shall see.

till tomorrow

gayle

Setting the scene

When I do a draft i never bother with some of the parts of the story. For instance, scene setting. My draft is pretty shallow except for the dialogue and the flow. I go back to my chapters several time making revisions. The first revision is for scene setting. Especially now that the whole story is drafted I fell I have the time to actually spend on each chapter.

Scene setting. good gosh (and yes my friend H this is a good old american term. lol) I find this a little hard to do since it requires the author to actually, well, write. Prose is needed and a sense of space. The environment surrounding the scene. I have been playing around with scene setting and sometimes I think I have done well--the Black Bull Tavern for one example. Other times it seem contrived or shallow. Occasionally I go to far with it where a simple sentence will do! I think I am trying to hard to be a writer. lol

I know the experts say you need to set the scene with all five senses. I don't agree with that sometimes only 2 are needed. smells are good, sight is good, even touch is wonderful and hearing sounds works but how often do people taste things? Especially alone in the woods where you cannot kiss. I guess you could taste your saliva! lol I wonder how I could write that. here let me swallow. nothing. I haven't a clue how to write what saliva tastes like. I guess I could have them taste their salty tears but then I would have to write a scene that made them cry. lol

speaking of crying. It will be interesting to see if i ever get that kind of reaction from my readers. I rarely cry, its the British stiff upper lip I got from my ancestors from way back when. But when I do watch out. the dam busts. Now this is not to say I don't feel sad or think a story or chapter is sad. I do. but I just don't cry.

Back to the scenes. I discovered the scene setting can happen at any time during a scene. It does not have to start at the beginning. It can be thrown in the dialogue when I want to slow the pace down. It will definitely slow the pace.

using descriptive phrases are tough for me. Not having a sense of the literary world, I sometimes think all my descriptions are contrived. Unrealistic. boring. but then some kind reader will post a comment remarking on the description (granted it does not happen often) and I feel better. I continue to work on it with each chapter. I dread going back to my first 10 chapters. Egad. I know they must suck. I think I got better by the Goulding Farm visit and then with the Meryton tavern I felt more comfortable with writing description.

Now description is not the same as backstory. I do leak out the backstory in teeny tiny bits and pieces but soon I will drop the whole think in the readers' laps. lol Blake's story comes first and then Rawlings and then Kents. But there are chapters between them and my readers have not yet gotten to know Kent. His time is coming.

So I wonder if the dropping of backstory in dribs and drabs is not another way to set the scene. I suppose so. I have to spend some time studying this aspect. All things about writing have now grabbed my imagination and I am a tenacious bulldog once I get interest int something.

I created a whole online training program, mirroring college in some ways. Other ways just training centers. Did I go to school for this? NO. I spent hours upon hours doing research and most of it on the internet way back in 1995. Long before most people had even heard of it, well maybe a phrase here and there. Well, I designed a program so sophisticated that my cheap $1 million dollar project embarrassed the Dept. of Defense's program (and they had spent over $30 million.) lol In the end DoD had to take mine over and it was not a friendly takeover but it was my program that survived. Just now in DoD's hands. lol An uneducated single-minded single woman beat the division with loads of money and people.

It just takes being able to see the scene in your head. Once the scene appears, then go for it as I did with my vision for training.

Yes, I guess I have been setting the scenes in many areas. And now I am off to set the scene for company. It is MOnday and my day to cook.

lol

till tomorrow and I type out another bunch of silliness of thought.

gayle

Mist surrounds the detail

This morning the entire area is surrounded in mist. Now if it a cloud or fog I do not know but it could be either. Living at 3000 feet makes it difficult. I always thought fog was nothing more than a low lying cloud. But there is a weather specific explanation for the difference. It is as complicated to understand as the weather explanation for humidity and why it feels suffocating in the summer and just moist in the winter. Something about the amount of air available or something. I don't know want to know. this is a case of Too much detail.

Too much detail. A modern phrase folks use when someone is discussing something personal and generally not desired by the listener. If my mom were to start explaining my father's sexual techniques I would yell - TOO MUCH DETAIL MOM. I really don't want to know. I do not even want to imagine how they did it. Was my mom a Lizzy, Lydia, Jane or heaven forbid, Rawlings dead wife? lol He has alluded to her responses a couple of times. I suspect some readers want the detail because it is, well, not their parents.

Now my boys have used the phrase with me and my past love life. Hell, there is no way they would not be aware of some of it. I am a divorcee. I had "dates" well, a lot of "dates". Much more than my fair share and learned well lots of techniques. (I know - too much detail). I did live through the sixties and the sexual revolution. But for me I was late to the party. I came too late! lol

But detail is something we don't want in other things as well. I personally do not wish to hear how someone is struggling with pooping. For gods sakes, keep that to yourself. We all have poop problems now and then-- get over it. My best friend talks about all manner of, um, personal habits. I never respond, she never figures out my silence is my response. She just goes on and tells me things I really rather not hear. I won't mention them myself because I can't even bear to think of them. Yes, I have tried telling her TOO MUCH DETAIL to no avail. And since she is my best friend and her good qualities outweigh by tons this one minor issue, I daydream when she goes into some of those conversations.

Too Much Detail. Now my story dribbles the detail out. Right now I suspect many readers are as frustrated as the ones that PM'd me seeking a few certain details. Poor Geri I could read her anguish in her comment. She wants details about the men - lots and lots of detail. She wants to get the whole Blake issue resolved, she wants to know what Darcy is thinking, she wants to know who is Kent and finally what was it that Rawlings did for Darcy. She wants Details.

Perhaps I strung out a few things a bit too long but then again I always said I liked angst. The answers are coming, just not as soon as some readers want. But will they like the answers. I don't know. Will they still read the story this fall? Will I still be able to hold their interest?

Well I had one reader, PatM, indicate she did think my story was exciting. That took me by surprise. I did not realize anyone would use that term to describe my story. Exciting. WoW. I am sure I would have screwed it up if I actually tried to make it exciting. It is so much better this way being exciting without designing it thusly. [I know thusly is a stupid word but heck it is what popped into my head].

Poor DebraAnne. She too wants to get to the Blake resolution. When I first began this story I had a different Blake in mind. But he had different thoughts and injected his personality into it. I had no control over my fingers when I put him on the page. No control whatsoever. lol Rawlings mouth takes over. Details. so many details about these two men and yes the readers will get to know it all. But will they yell, TOO MUCH DETAIL. Will their own vision of the men be shattered by the truth? Will they be sorry to read all about it? I wonder.

It is true I withhold the details. I dribble them out a sentence here and phrase there. but it cannot continue forever. The first half of the story will be finished soon and the details will be given in greater and greater chunks until my dear readers know as much as I do about these men. Since it is 50 chapters longs (give or take a chapter because I am toying with collapsing two chapters into one instead of posting two short chapters), then Tuesday we will reach the half way point and after that the story will change in a subtle way. Readers will not notice, but it does. Its those little dribs and drabs of detail that will start to appear that were not there before. I hope the second half of the book brings as much interest and, yes, angst as this first half. Will my readers notice the building up of the tension until they can't stand it anymore. Will the say they will stop reading the story just to return the moment it is posted? Will they send me PM's begging for mercy? lol I hope so. And I hope to provide all the details they want by the, umm, 50th chapter!

till tomorrow for today I am off to work on a sentence here and there.

gayle

Some days I hate my writing

and others I don't. Today I hate it. Nothing sounds good when I read it back. It is not that I dislike my story it is just that when I read a really good writer's story I tend to hate my work all the more. lol

I tell myself, you are a beginner, it is Ok. Alas, that does not always work. Margaret Mitchell was a beginner! Alex Berensen was a beginner, well, true he did write for the NY Times but writing a suspenseful book is different. Maybe not. NYT is full of fiction. lol

I tell myself, ok you never took a creative writing class. I argue back: Creative writing classes can only go as far as the teacher has skills to teach. There are plenty of resources on the web of which I have used many of them.

I tell myself a lot of things but then I read my story and wonder why am I asking why? I may not be the best with prose, nor the best with methaphors ( I had to look up that word) and I certainly do not construct good sentences (as evidenced by this blog), at least in the draft. I wonder why anyone bothers to read my stuff at all when there are so many better writers out there.

Today, if you could not tell, is my normal monthly self-pity day. I know I am 57 and should not be bothered with these days again but there still there and will probably following me to my grave and maybe, god forbid, thereafter. I like to wallow in self-pity from time to time. I take a hard look at myself, my life, my family and although I am looking through gray lenses I tend to see something that I don't see everyday.

Today I am zeroing in on my writing. Previous months it was my social skills and my domesic skills. I have even pitied myself on my parenting skills. Ok I can be a self-pitying person and the feeling usually lasts a day. Never longer just one day.

Music is the answer. I gravitate to music when I feel this way. First I listen to all the sad songs about love lost then I move to the angry songs and finally I end up the happy songs. Then I am cured. Now I listen to this music while doing things: cleaning, baking, rearranging funiture, cleaning out my closet, or the dreaded cleaning out the fridge!

I have one other solution to the doldrums and that is to hear my mother's voice. So today I plan to drink my coffee with my ear glued to the phone as my mom speaks on all the subjects she can come up with. She knows when I need to listen and she is damn good at not letting me wallow. I guess we will discuss the world's problems. We do that from time to time. We will complain how we dislike both men running for president. I doubt if I will vote this year for the first time ever. She will convince me it is my duty. She is of the WWII generation and they take voting seriously. Together on the phone we will solve the oil crisis, the housing crisis, the banking crisis, the fighting worldwide, and the entertainment problems. If only those in charge would listen in on our conversation then they would have the answers! lol

It is 7:03 am and I have two more hours to wait for mom's call. She calls me because she has unlimited long distance calling with her plan and I don't. I do live in the rural mountains and we just plan don't have the conveniences of the more populated area. So she calls. I wait. I do love my Saturday mornings. My mom and I used to sit at the kitchen table when I was 15 on Saturday mornings and just talk. My dad busied himself by being useful: washing dishes, vacuuming, dusting, washing clothes. He loved how the two of us got along so well. I would tell my mom about my date the night before, she would complain about her job and then we solved the world's problems. Since 1965, my mom and I have been solving the world's problems. If only they would listen.

well, off to make my coffee and get ready for the call.

till tomorrow when I will like my writing again and be a bit more witty.

gayle

Finishing chapter 28

today and tomorrow I will finish polishing chapter 28. Whew. Another long chapter - over 7000 words. that is twice as long as early chapters. but this is another important chapter where a lot of stuff is done. I could have made it shorter by telling everyone but instead, I created showing scenes. Ah. the difference is staggering. I have become addicted to showing but have to pinch myself to make sure I do some telling in a story. Sometimes we just don't care how many steps it took to get from the horse to the house. lol

I have included a scene with just one person. Man, those are hard. There is nothing to ping against. Just thoughts and actions. And it needs to convey feelings to the reader. Deep feelings. this is an area that I am moving further into in my writing. How to work with one character. Here is a practice exercise, which I may one day turn into a story. this is only one character and I am trying to pull a certain emotion out of the reader:

Dewey Beach Mystery

She walked along the beach shore wearing nothing but her short black nightgown. Shivering at the nip in the air, the slim brunette wrapped her arms around herself. Her feet tingled with the stinging water lapping upon them. Abruptly stopping when her toe scraped against something prickly, she leaned down to take a closer look. With nothing but the moonlight aiding her quest, she barely made out an old frayed rope halfway buried under the congealed sand.

Cautiously she slipped her naked hands around the rope and pulled. She easily freed the rope from the grainy sea warden but it was caught on something. She pulled and tugged until she realized it was not caught on something, it was merely tied to something. Using the rope as a guide map, she walked gingerly into the edge of the water. She stood staring at a boat, a rowboat to be exact. She approached slowly inhaling through her lips. Jumping backwards, her eyes widened when the tarp on top was thrown off violently.

She forced her athletic legs to sprint through the hard moist ground but it was only a moment before she was merely attempting to propel her way through the mounds of now dry and heavy sand. Grasping at the sea grass, she continued on, not stopping until she fell up the wooden stairs. She continued to crawl upwards to the sliding door grabbing anything to help boost her forward. She ignored the blood seeping from the splintery scrapes upon her legs. Without looking back, she tugged on the sliding door but it would not open. Feeling around the deck, she found the heavy metal ashtray, quickly smashing it through the glass. Her heaving chest and staccato panting caused her to fumble with the lock. She heard the click. As the door moved easily to the left, she struggled to slip inside when suddenly her arm grazed upon something hard and wet. She lost consciousness when her head hit the Italian tile floor but not before she saw him.

So which emotion did you feel? Was it full of tension? Do you want to read more? I had hints: the naked hands - was she unmarried? did she leave her jewelry behind. Why was the door locked? Was this her house? Did she know the ashtray was there? Who was in the tarp? Was she running because she knew him or was he a stranger? Who was him? Was fear evoked? Why was she outside in a nightgown? Did she have an argument with someone? If this was her house why was the door locked? Well, these are just the sorts of questions that create stories.

Well, this was just a writing exercise where I had to use only one character and action to convey an emotion and create a scene. I had ten minutes to type. this is what I came up with! lol Now i see a whole story bubbling in my head. It is a modern day Washington DC mystery. Of course, the federal government is a "character" and i have images of all the characters - they were the ones I worked with - well, bits and pieces and sometimes two characters become one. sorta like my Rawlings - he is a little of both my sons - witty (my second son) and social that drinks (my eldest). I always said if I could have collapsed my two boys into one I would have had perfection. lol But it was more fun to raise them as two individuals. and some of their traits would not merge well.

well off to finish my chapter and today it is off to Asheville for lunch and whatnot and tonight is our neighborhood cocktail party (last friday of every month). I have to make an appetizer. Today I will just get something to take - no cooking for me.

well, enjoy your day.

gayle

A day off

Today I need to finish reading the plays and print out the ones I found. Perhaps I should write a play about Jane Austen's P&P from Darcy's pov (and no extra characters). I could entitle it, From My Perspective. I could have Darcy sitting at a desk in the study and only Bingley, Caroline, the colonel, and georgiana come into speak to him. lol I would have Elizabeth be a ghost like figure he talks to when alone. She could answer back. It could cover his time in LOndon before and after the proposal and right before he goes to Pemberly. We will see the transformation of the man. lol it is a scene in my head - we are just a little theater group and the single desk and a few chairs would work for us. Oh, and a butler/house steward. Maybe Lord and Lady Matlock.

Well this how my brain works. I jump from a task to a whole story. It becomes an obsession. It is a good obsession, since it does not involve illegal stuff: no drugs, no stealing, no killing. Well, drinking it would.

so I am off to read these plays and praying for the best.

Mama Mia was fun and I had a good day yesterday. But the play was better and we all thought the ending was slightly different. None of us can remember, we are getting so old!

take care

gayle

Mama Mia!

Today is my day to go watch the movie with a couple of friends. I saw the play twice. The first time my best friend and I drove down from DC to Richmond VA. When it came to DC the ticket prices were expensive - $85, but another cast presented the show in Richmond for $35. Heck we even had dinner out. We spied others from the DC area in the Richmond audience. See, we may spend the taxpayer's money freely but not our own. lol

Well, I loved the play and when my mom came up from Florida for a visit, I wanted to take her but it was only showing in DC and she wanted my two nieces to go. So what did I do? Yep, I invited them all- mom, my youngest brother and Amy and Taylor, my two nieces. He had just recently gone through a divorce. And I did want to give the girls, ages 12 and 9, a chance to see a real play on a real stage. Mama Mia seemed perfect. I told them to dress up, no jeans, and we would go out to dinner afterwards. It would be my Christmas present to them.

So we went. They loved it even my brother. He had been of the right age for Abba songs (I am seven years older) so he sang along with them all. I purchased ABBA cds for the girls and let my mom give them to them as gifts.

We had a fun day. It would be one of many special days I would give my nieces.

One day, I hope to take my story and convert into a book - one of those self publishing vanity places like LULU. I want to give them something to remember me by. Something a little bit more than memories. Expectations is a piece of me and I hope that they will like it. Of course, I want to give it to my sons as well but I doubt they will ever open the covers. lol Now my nieces are a different story. I think they will like my story and, of course, I will give them P&P to go along with it. NOw I also want to give them a DVD of one of the P&P movies/mini-series. but which one?

Give me your answer in today's poll. Which one would help them the best - not which one you prefer. think of the young girls of today - will they sit through the 5 hour miniseries or will they need the quick 2005 movie with its up-to-date look.

Well, off to get ready to go. I know it is a ways off but we going to lunch first so I only have 4 hours to get ready and I need every minute!

gayle

Showing and Telling

I try to present my story in a "showing" way. I still suck at the action beats-- too much eye movements and sighing and well simple stuff. I have to really work on improving that part of my writing. I will because I do not like tellling. I thought in the beginning that showing meant you showed body actions. I did not equate it to thoughts.

I remember once taking a paragraph where Lord Blake is with Elizabeth. I had his thoughts but not his actions. Here it is before I worked on showing and my final paragraph that I posted.

Telling:

Lord Blake relaxed as he returned her smile. They kept their eyes looking at the path before them as they continued walking. He was tempted to caress her hand atop his arm since it was within so easy of a reach. He stared hard but did not do so. He did, however, place his free hand behind his back and squeezed it repeatedly.

Sbowing:

Lord Blake relaxed as he returned her smile. Trying to keep his eyes on the path ahead, he, however, found himself staring hard at her hand. It was within so easy of a reach, but he merely placed his free hand behind his back and squeezed it repeatedly.

As you see, the showing does give a much better picture in your mind. You understand immediately what is going thru his mind - he want to touch that hand.

so which one do you like better? gayle wants to know!

Of course, a real writer could turn even this paragraph on its head. lol

Well, as Chapter 24 is posted you will see I used a bit of Telling for this chapter. I think it is because I can't stand Collins or Wickham. but i worry I did a disservice to my readers. Should I not use any talent for showing (even if it is still in the novice stage) to present these men? Sometimes I think I such a "Jane". Any showing of these men would make me have to reveal even more horrid aspects of their characters than I did.

I am a beta to another new author - lol - we are learning together. Hope it is not the case of the blind leading the blind! I have the same feelings for her story as I do mine -- I want her to succeed in her storytelling too. Now her story is a modern (which I have only read a couple of moderns) and has pushed me to try my hand at one myself. Unlike her steamy hot story (and this time I actually had to read the steamy parts) mine will still be subdued. Perhaps she will encourage me to add a sex scene or two (she does think I have the talent for it) but I prefer to let a good story stand alone. Well, for my comfort zone that is. We work hard on the showing side of things. And humor. and the aww factor and the tension and suspense. But there is some pretty damn hot scenes in it as well.

On to polishing Chapter 28. It will take some work but the flow is finally right and I even converted a telling scene into a showing one so, I am off. I need to post today and I will try not to hold breath until someone posts a comment. lol

gayle

Talking and Writng are the same, sort of!

I entitled todays thoughts as untitled at first until I came up with a title. Let's face it I write down the jumbled words swimming in my head. this is monday. I have no jumbled words. In fact I have no words at all. lol Not true, I always have words.

When I was younger I talked too much. Constantly. I have three brothers. One good looking Darcy type, one nerd, then me and then the baby. No sisters. My oldest brother rarely spoke. He stared at us all. My nerdy brother and myself held contests to see who could talk the longest without taking a breath. Well, that is my mom said we did. lol My baby brother who is 7 years younger than me (and my oldest brother is 7 years older). Well my youngest brother probably spoke in the normal amount. Not too much, not too often, and definitely more than my oldest brother - shoot, a new born baby cooing speaks more than my oldest brother.

Well, over the years I noticed, I talk less and my other talkative brother now talks even less than me. My oldest brother talks more. Still it is not much but it is more than the Hello, Good meal, and Goodbye he used to say when he visited for dinner. He now adds, How's the boys? How long are you staying in Florida? Well it is a start to a meaningful relationship. lol

I used to measure if anyone had stopped listening to me by well stopping in mid-sentence. If the person did not react I just quit talking. Over time I learned how to get the most out of the words from my head. Say just enough to keep them interested, but not too much to bore them to tears. Which brings me up to my writing.

Write just enough to keep the interest going. Don't tell to much. It is the old Show vs. Tell theory in writing. Show them through actions and body language. Don't tell them everything. It gets boring. Learn to spit out a story using either the mouth or the fingers in such a way the listener or the reader moves a step closer. She needs to hear/read the next word. That is my goal. Get my reader to move closer to the monitor. Share only the amount of information which keeps them planted in their chair.

I don't always succeed. Sometimes I bore myself with parts of my chapter. Especially my early chapters. I am learning as I go. I guess I could have taken some classes to learn the "rules" to writing. But since I am self taught in everything I do, this is no exception. I like being self taught. Now this does not mean that I use no tools in my learning. Oh, quite the contrare! I spent an enormous amount of time researching "How to Write" and almost as much as I have actual spent on writing. I have read about Show vs. Tell, Expository, Narrative, dialogue and tagging, action beats, pacing, story and chapter arc, suspense and tension, cause and effect, body language, and some I can't remember. I study writer's websites. They share loads of "how-to's" One uses an index card system for each scene in the book. Another prefers the outline. Yet another just writes and sees where it takes him. but they all agree - show don't tell. And that was the lesson I had to learn with my conversations. When I was young I bored everyone. And then, I started withholding the minutia of detail and kept them close. They would on ocassion take that step closer and I knew right then, I had them. lol

So, I will go back and reread all my show vs. tell stuff and see if I have slipped back into a bad habit. I want my readers to lean a little closer since the words they will be reading are becoming, well, really suspenseful. More to come!

gayle

How can I look it up

when I don't know how to spell it? That has been a cry from many over the years. How many times have our parents and teachers told us to look up words in the dictionary that we don't know how to spell. So how do you look up pneumonia as a child if you have no clue it begins with P. lol Even know is a problem.

Well, l need to be a bit more careful with my research. Sometimes I just make assumptions on things and don't think twice that research is needed. lol Today I was reminded, and was pleased to have been so, that I needed to look up a few things--militia and fireworks. lol My assumptions certainly proved wrong, except in my defense I will say I watched Regency House and the rich young men were the ones that set off the fireworks because they were curious as men are and wishing to display their hidden talents, as men do. But I must admit I took that little scene too far in my head. I am grateful for the advice.

Now about knowing when something is wrong. There are a few other types of issues that cause some havoc with writing and speaking and singing.

for instance, stratergery is word that is commonly attached to Pres. Bush. Well, he did not say the word, the spoof some Saturday Night Live comedian said and it kinda stuck to Pres. Bush. Of course he says lots of things that are called malapropisms -- any sentence in which one word has been used incorrectly in place of another. Sometimes people just make up a word (which is often my case.)

Some bushisms I found funny:
It will take time to restore chaos and order.
We are making steadfast progress.

I am sure when he said this he did not realize the words coming out of his mouth were the wrong ones. I have a habit of combining cliches together: Don't spill the cat out of the bag. Water over the bridge. etc. I have a hard time getting any cliche like that correct.

And then there are time when you sing the words to a song and they are absolutely wrong:

"There's a bathroom on the right." - my words exactly as I sang along
"There's a bad moon on the rise." - correct words.
Bad Moon Rising, Creedence Clearwater

Of course, no one is suppose to know the words to Louie, Louie. The musicians just slurred some words that even they don't remember from their drunken jam fest. lol

Until I did research on word choices and ran across a list of common errors in hearing song words, I believed I was correct that there was a bathroom on the right.

So knowing when to do research is not always easy to, well, know. Thank goodness for beta's!

till tomorrow, I am off to research every word in my story. lol Well, not every word.

gayle

Communications

Today we live in a world that can communicate instantly. I was thinking of this when I watched the P&P 2005? movie. Somehow Joe Wright did not understand the difference between todays line of communication and regency. He had Lady Catherine showing up at Longbourn the same day as when Jane and Bingley finally come to an understanding. How is this possible? I guess one is to assume Sir William sent an expensive express messenger to his daughter who in turn told her husband who in turn told Lady Catherine who in turn went to London to speak to Darcy and then took the trip to Longbourn. Not possible!

The other glaring error, even though there were quite a few, was the opening when Mrs. B was telling Mr. B about Netherfield Park being let. Well, Joe Wright had no clue about Mr. B by changing his response to his wife. Mr. B is a gossip. He liked to hear gossip. So when Mr. B said that he had no doubt she would tell him whether he wanted to hear it or not (I am doing this from memory) instead of You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it. That proved he did not know Mr. B' character and to me he ruined him in the movie.

But that takes me back to communication. What a horrible life in a way without the means to pickup the phone and talk to a loved one. Look at the Seattle Slag-fest - pictures immediately.

I am in high spirits to be living in today's world. Every Saturday morning my mom and I have a wonderful conversation on the phone. We rarely miss a week. I love to talk to her and it gives her a chance to get things off her chest.

But to writing regency, means of communication has to be understood so we do not make the Joe Wright blunder. In moderns it would be easier to solve some problems, but for Regencies well sometimes the hero must wait for news, especially from across an ocean. lol

Ah, communication. I shall try to remember how slow life moved back then. and sometimes I wonder if we were not better off. Would passions cool before someone did something they would later regret? Would the lack of instant connection give one a chance to mull over his feelings until he understood what they really were? Who knows. We only know the world as it is today. Fast. And that has its virtues too. Like the phone I am watching as it sits on my dining room table desk preparing itself for the long conversation between mother and daughter to come.

Any minute now.

till tomorrow.

gayle

angst lover

I admit I love angst. Today I am trying to find a way to put some more into a new story. Ok, it is a modern short story that has been hopping around in my head. I want it to be mostly humorous with no rivals for Elizabeth or Darcy and really just a bunch of fluff and fun. Except I still want tension and suspense. I like to read stories with tension and suspense. I like to write tension and suspense. I love angst.

My mind must have something new and creative to type out while I polish and edit Expectations.

My life was full of angst and tension and suspense. Well, my young adult married life. lol Once we get into London and someone's backstory is revealed than I will share my own personal agnst.

Someone asked me recently if I ever wrote poetry. The answer is hell no. I hate poetry. I do not have a poet's sense of things. Unless of course you consider the ripoff of Dr. Seuss' Oh the Places you will Go I wrote when I retired. But as to poetry. I hate the stuff. That is why I prefer mystery and spy novels. Of course, living and working in the DC area all my life may have something to do with that. Many of the spy novels cover certain buildings and locations in DC not to mention the inner workings of the federal government. lol I was an inner worker! I worked in the bowels of government, slushing around purchasing the items needed by those organizations with spies and whatnot. If I tell you more, then you know. I will have to do you in. So we shall just stop there.

I liked contracts. There was much suspense and tension at every bid opening or announcement of the winner. Good gosh, one time a man had his house burnt down because of a competitor. He was the manufacturer of condoms and yes, the federal government buys those things. In truckloads. For export to 3rd world countries. I worked in an office that handled those contracts. Well, I did not do the actually buying, but it was always interesting to hear about their contracts. Failure rate of the item was suppose to be zero. But there were some strange things we learned. In some countries the color matter. Do not send white flesh color condoms to some african countries. It could start a war. lol Can you imagine the headlines? War breaks out over the superior color of one's penis. lol Perhaps working in that office freed me from shying away from such terms. I suppose doctors and nurses feel this way. It is just a word!

But words do matter and how you present (or omit) makes a difference as to the tension in a story. A phrase here and there can up the red flag in a reader's mind. It does not take much. I am careful with most of my sentences and they have more than one meaning or at least a purpose. Some are fluff just to set the scene, others are distractions-purposely. but I do my best to try and raise the tension and keep my readers a little edgy. Sorry, but this is just what I like.

well, time to execise and hopefully my back will remain in tact.

till tomorrow. gayle

today is a good day

I feel good today. I was suffering from a nagging back ache (just thank goodness it was not sciatica this time - I have to get steroid shots in my back with that one). I think I exercised crookedly and caused the ache. But now it is gone and I feel great. the sun is shining and the air is cool (for July!). I got a lot people chuckling with my chapter 23. Phew. I was worried about it.

Now today, I have some association business stuff to work on and I must finish my play reading. I have five plays to comment on and I need to get it done quickly. Hope they are better than ones the previous play reading committee chose. Last years plays were ghastly.

One playwright that I find humorous is Bruce Kane. I love his stuff. Ruby and In the Beginning are my favorite plays. To get a glimpse of his plays click here: http://www.kaneprod.com/index.htm

I also found a good British Play - The Hair of the Dog. It is set in Las Vegas. Three couples go there to celebrate two of them getting married in a few weeks. One make wakes up in a bed with his pants missing and his wallet gone. Sitting in the chair next to him is a woman he knows but is not the one he went to Las Vegas with! It is a fun, fun play.

I also found a murder mystery with 6 endings. We put on our plays at the clubhouse in the big room off of the dining room. Unlike all of the other theater groups we are the only ones to actually have the opportunity to stage a dinner play. Unfortunately, no one before me could see the possibilities. I had them try a Murder Mystery dinner show last year and the tickets sold out in 15 minutes. It was well received by everyone. So now I plan to push for at least one dinner play each season. The clubhouse restaurant manager is interested. What fun!

Well, first I have to find plays worthy of $35 dollars per person for a dinner show. We only charge $8 for our plays and I do believe we can come up with a wonderful dinner or buffet for the rest.

Here is the clubhouse: http://www.connesteefalls.com/outside_home.asp

well gotta go read. Perhaps it will get me in the mood to work on my other story! yep, I have a short humorous story in the works. A little thing to keep my mind sharp. Maybe 10-12 chapters. And I would try to make it funny. I like to laugh.

till tomorrow

gayle

To laugh or not to laugh

Yep, they laughed. Most did. I received a lot of comments and most were very favorable to the glimpse scene. I had always laughed when I read that scene so I was hoping others would own the same kind of sense of humor. And a lot of them do.

but i missed the one issue that was just as important. Darcy making a comment and Lizzy reacting. I should have had Lizzy talk to Jane in the hallway while their parents were talking in the study. Lizzy could have explained her problem. I will go back and fix the chapter at AHA and HG. Cannot go back to DWG so I may have to add a little scene next week to their chapter. It is important to the story. This is why comments are helpful. I see what I missed doing. I explained it in the comment thread but not everyone goes to there.

I promised everyone that I wanted them to smile when they read my story, get angry, cry, go ahhh, feel sadness, and yes laugh. I want to bring out all the emotions from the readers. Of course I like keeping them on pins and needles simply because I like pins and needles stuff myself. lol. But this post was to bring out the heehaws. And I think I did it based on the response.

Next up, Wickham and Collins and then the chapters leading to the finale of the first book. I can't remember how many chapters but it is at least 4 or maybe 5. lol Oh well, it is all climatic once the cad and the simpleton arrive.

well, today is my 3rd wednesday of the month meeting day. I am also going to see a play. And attend a picnic by my theater group. so I am off and away to a busy day. geeze a poet and don't know it!

take care

gayle

Looking at things differently

I am drinking my coffee this morning from a $6,000 coffee mug. Of all my collections, my coffee mugs are the most costly. My mugs are almost all black or dark blue. They all have writing on them. I have quite a good collection. My most expensive one, $27,000, broke a few years back. It was sad to have to pick up the pieces. There were too many shards to glue back together.

Now you have probably guessed, or maybe not, that I did not actually pay $6000 for a mug. I, did however, pay that amount for a vacation my mom and I took together after my dad passed away. It was my only souvenir. A coffee mug from Baby's Coffee at the 15 mile marker in Key West. Although I do not think Baby's Coffee is actually in Key West since Key West is only 5 miles wide and 3 miles long. but that is where the shop is located.

My mom, a good Baptist, had feared going to Key West because she had heard all about the raunchiness of the place. Why it was a favorite spot for gay people not to mention the nudists and party-goers. Not the place for a good Baptist. But it was our Birthday. I was born on her 25th birthday, November 13. Needless to say, I knew the way to manipulate my mom. What child does not acquire this skill? Well, for my mom you must be blunt and transfer a little of guilt and jealousy. I told her I was going there on my birthday and spend 1/2 of it in spa and the othe 1/2 in a bed and breakfast. Now I knew she always wanted to stay in a B&B and secretly desired to go to a spa. I also told her bluntly that if she hesitated or showed me any trepidations that I would take my best friend instead. That was it. Jealousy goes a long way.

To make this long story short. We went. She had a wonderful time. We never saw any of the "horrible" people she feared, although she almost drug me into a gay bar. Of course, she did not know and I had to point it out that "Mom, there are only men inside and they are, well, sitting mighty close to one another." Her eyes grew wide but she did not turn her head. She stared for a full minute watching them. lol I get my curiosity from her! The Bed & Breakfast was located next to a nudist resort. Every night we would walk past it and she would stand on her tiptoes trying to get a peak at the folks on the other side! We spent three days getting spa treatments - massages, facials, exfoliating washes, manicures, pedicures, the works. Yes my mom had to get naked for the exfoliating body wash. Needless to say she did not like that part. lol And we stayed out late and became party-goers ourselves. I made her agree that we would not head back to the room until after one hour after dinner. I did not tell her dinner would be at 9:00! Key West only comes alive at 9:00 and that is just for dinner. The real action is after that. The nudist go to a bar that is on the rooftop so sorry no views for us folks down below! My mom always looked up when we walked by the place. She drank some and listened to music but mainly we spent the entire time walking, shopping, sightseeing and enjoying each other's company. She had a grand time and speaks fondly of it to this day. I always think of that vacation as I sip from my Baby's Coffee Mug. Yes, it may have cost me $6000 but it was money well spent. [you must be glad this is the short version!]

My other mugs represent other vacations, but I have several that were the result of my sons lives. The 27,000 one is the one my son gave me upon graduating college. My oldest son. He graduated from James Madison and was the first in my family to do so. Heck, neither my mom nor my dad finished high school but those days were different. My brother went to college, University of Maryland, but did not finish. I had to forgo college so my brother could go. Not enough dough for us both. I did well in my career just the same and have no complaints, although English Lit and Grammar would have proved useful now. My oldest, Ed [or my Blake], gave me the coffee mug from his first real job after graduation. I figured it was the cost of college tuition!

My other son, the one I stole some characteristics from for Rawlings, refused to go. In fact he took 5 years to finish high school. He never went to school. He would walk out as soon as I dropped him off and drove away. He preferred to stay home and read books and play on the computer. He has a wicked sense of humor and can turn any statement into a witticism. Well the coffee mugs from him come from a Microsoft training school where he received his certification and took a job, well paying, networking computers for companies. He ended up with a company that had a state department contract and he traveled all over the world- 76 countries in 6 years. So much for telling you kids they must go to school! lol He is really brilliant and was bored. Structured school systems do not work for everyone and I had to learn that the hard way. He would have excelled in a home school environment. Needless to say I drink from his coffee cups he was given when he finished his training program. I have two and so I have valued them at $5000 each. Now he has learned the value of a college degree and has been attending college full time on his dime. He lives in my VA home and soon I hope he will finish and I will sell the place. And take all the remaining coffee mugs with me.

so I do look at everything differently. I drink not from $2 mugs but from ceramic containers of love and memories and satisfaction. Priceless. I try to write differently too. I guess it is just my nature: curiosity and thinking differently.

gayle

Word Choices

One lesson I learned in attempting to write a good story is that word choice is imperative to a good read. While we speak in simple terms, the written words needs to be raised to a higher level. I work hard at chosing the right words and spend considerable amount of of time obsessing over minute meanings.

For instance,

Originally I wrote this sentence: He knew his friend was aware of which lady was the object of his search.

I sought a better word than "knew" which turns out to be considered a weak word. So I set about the thesaurus on line - the one that comes with word - right click on a word and select look up. I drill down and down and down until I find the word I think conveys my thought. Sometimes I have to go to another thesaurus. Here is the sentence now:

He presupposed his friend was aware of which lady was the object of his search.

the word presupposed feels right. It does say more than knew. It indicates this had been thought about before this event took place. It was my 16th word I considered. lol I do obsess over everything.

Now word choice can also be driven by the chapter as a whole. Let us say, that an underlying theme of a chapter is a battle being waged. This time, I chose words that were more military like-

retreated
spying
skirmish
Stand guard
parameter
scouted
entrenched
patrol
surveillance
tactic

these were words that replaced the more civilian types and the underlying theme was met. I believe it raised the tension a little just by substituting these words in the right place.

So one day soon, look for them. YOu will know because the "battle" will be identified in plain words. lol

Well, my word choices for today are: exercise, clean, write, type, shower, file and of course entertain. Tonight is my night to serve dinner to my friend.

take care until tomorrow.

gayle

To Read or Write that is the question

Read. Today I shall read. I have a lot to read. I need to read a chapter from a friend. I need to read five plays. In need to read my bills. I need to read the Friday Flyer (our paper that announces the events for the week).

I find it hard to read when I am in a writing mood. I find it hard to write when I am in a reading mood. I have somehow found a way to partition blocks of time to do the most important reading. Writing is reserved for anytime the keyboard calls. lol

So today I will skip the writing (well, almost. I did polish another 1,000 words in Chapter 27. That is such a long chapter - 6500 words to date. I cannot split the ball in half. I cannot.)

So off to read a chapter and then the five plays oh and I do play canasta again this afternoon. so I have to do laundry before I can go. I need by bra for card playing too! lol

I wish everyone a wonderful day and perhaps you will find something to read as well.

gayle

What to Wear

Ok, I know this is a wacky blogpost. Well, I am wacky so it is pretty normal for me. What to wear. Just what do I need to wear while I write.

A bra. For some reason I must wear a bra. No jammies, no nightgown, No all natural. I must wear a bra. Silly is it not? but I need to have my puppies held up high. I wonder if there is some study done somewhere that explains why the raising of my breasts from the floor (ok I am old and sagging) helps raise my IQ. lol. Maybe not IQ but thought waves. There is one exception- I have plenty of thoughts in bed at night and I don't wear a bra there. Maybe if I had worn a night bra then my breasts would not cover my knees when standing. Don't I wish they were that long. If so, I could stuff them in those female hookable milk containers and have loads of cleavage. I have previously established my boobies were nothing special except the do tend to fall outwards. While standing. So no cleavage. I wonder why some women have breasts that live in the front of their chests and others like me have to keep pushing them inwards.

I know a lot of time has been spent typing about breasts. I am as straight as they come so why this fixation on breasts. Well, I guess if men can fixate on the size of their, um, manhood, I can fixate on the crappy tilting mounds of fat and grizzle poking sideways. Had I breast fed my sons, why I could have laid them beside me on the bed and let them sup away! lol.

Back to the my writing. My fixation is on Chapter 23 and the that glimpse of heaven. Have you figured it out yet? lol. Well I fixed the chapter and decided on two different versions - the DWG one where I will need to get creative later on because of this change and the AHA/HG one. I did tone even that one down because I did not want Elizabeth and Jane to be out of character. Mrs. B well she is as anyone wants her to be. Right now she is desperate.

Here I sit in my bra (and shorts and top not to mention the other undergarment) as I fixate on that chapter. I will post on Tuesday. I will probably be disappointed at the response because I sense it is only funny to me. lol I am wacky.

Of course not all of Chapter 23 is funny (or not too funny to some). I do have the final verbal battle between Lizzy and Darcy and then there is the new wrinkle I added. It will help Elizabeth desire to hear the lies and half-truths to be muttered soon by well known cad. Chapter 24 is the arrival of one cad and one simpleton.

Clothes do make a difference. and shoes. I can not write with shoes on. sock ok but not shoes. something about confining my feet that stunts my visions. I don't mind confining my breasts but my feet must remain free. I also like to stick my feet out at night. I like to cover my breasts. I wonder why? Is it that I really wish to be really free but my mother taught me to be a nice girl. Did my feet rebel? lol

I also like to wear certain clothes to clean house. I have this old cotton tee shirt and shorts and this certain bra. Any old panties will do. I have no fixations with them. but that old tee shirt a bright pink is important for some reason. But to write, any clothes will do as long as my breasts are confined and my feet roam free! lol

till tomorrow.

In the Clouds

Today I am in the clouds. lol. Literally. When you live on a mountain, cloudy days take on new meanings. First I had a beautiful sunrise, now clouds surround me. I can see the trees across the street but the silvery white mist stands between us.

What do clouds have to do with my writing. I like to keep a bit of silvery mist between me and my readers. I have maintained that mist throughout the story so far. There is always something that is not quiet clear. I know. I write it that way. I want my readers to become mentally engaged in the story. I want them to wonder what is inside that silvery mist. And as a cloud lifts on its own schedule so shall I.

Currently there are several clouds draping the story: Blake's intentions, Kent's motive, Darcy's thoughts, and of course what exactly did RAwlisngs do for Darcy. And whose eyes were those in the trees?

The story has been progressing along the weatherman's "Partly Cloudy but lots of Sun." We have had fun. The games were the sun. As it happens in sunny days, we are pretty happy bunch. They say in Arizona the people smile all the time. I know I have been there. They do. I worked with the professors at Arizona State University over a four year period and I had to travel to Tempe all the time. I do not recall ever seeing a cloud. After a week, I longed for gray skies and well a little mist and rain. It was just too bright. too damn bright. And the people were just to happy. And this was all the time and every time I went there. I laughed with one professor, I think he was head of his department, because he, too, thought the clouds, gray skies and rain did not detract from life but enhanced it. You cannot long for a lovely day when your home is always surrounded by sun. I blew kisses when I landed back in the DC area from those trips. Clouds welcomed me and often rain at times. Once even it had snowed and I thought it was glorious.

Back to my writing. Yes, although perky white clouds have been hovering over the story, storm clouds are headed its way. Storms come in all degrees. There are the wonderful showers, watering my outdoor plants for me! Sometimes the rain pours from the sky while the sun shines. Of course we know the rainbow appears. Those are the happy clouds. They may conceal something but it is over with quick. I do offer a few brief showers in my story. Why the treason issue is a perfect example. I let the sky unload the thought and then in the very first paragraph of the next posting I let the sun come out.

There are the all day rains and the storm systems with lots of rain over a short period of time. Yes, I do have those kind of cloudy days too.

Right now the skies have been partly cloudy. Blake's intention is the cloud that has every readers looking up and wondering if they should grab their raincoats and umbrellas. They think it looks menacing and perhaps it is. Funny thing about clouds. YOu just never know what will happen.

Oh, and before I forget. A hurricane is on its way. The first signal that the storm is becoming something massive has shown its ugly head. I am tracking it now. What shall I name my Expectations hurricane. mmmmmm. Well, I will think on it and when the name comes to me, I shall share it.

On week in the future, you will need to take adequate cover. Locate your shelter now. Do not wait. Shelter can be chocolate, wine, sodas, steak dinners, music, or any other form of comfort. lol

Ah how the clouds make life interesting.

gayle

Not well today

I shall rest up for tomorrow. My mind is willing but my fingers are not. I shall watch old movies or read a new book. I shall curl up on my sofa with my coffee (and I wish I had tea but I don't) and take a day to relax.

till tomorrow.

Readers Expectations

My story has a simple title for a simple reason. I never can remember acronyms. So I chose a single word. Expectations. Of course it was suppose to convey the theme of men and their expectations for life: business, marriage, friendship, family, etc. All of their ingrained principles are tested and they must deal with what is expected of them from every angle.

my readers have their own expectations for the men. They must see Blake as a rake because they expect E&D to get together and well, Blake is charming and he is titled and he is not Wickham so they need to make him in some way bad. Otherwise they would want Elizabeth to chose him. I expected the reaction. Now whether or not he is a rake will be revealed in about 41 days. I shall start a countdown when it hits 30.

Sometimes the readers do not react the way I expect. Writers spend a great deal of time working on every sentence that when readers glance over them or comment only one a different part of the chapter you wonder what they thought of the whole chapter and every theme. I must admit it seems much of my chapters go uncommented; but then, I do cram alot into a chapter.

Only AbigailR (whom I was surprised she was reading the story) commented about the card game not be repeated the next night. I had puzzled over that one sentence in P&P where Caroline says Darcy (and not her brother - the host) did not wish for cards (and he did not join in the night before so why would what Darcy wanted hold sway?) It has always puzzled me exceedingly. If the Hursts and Caroline and Bingley wanted to play cards what right did Darcy have to say no. Well, I used my story to invent another answer. I filled in the blank with my own expectations of how it was. I believed he did it as a sign of concern for Elizabeth so I added it in my story.

I expected and was rewarded with lots of comments about the pool game. It was fun to write and fun to read the comments. I also expected some comments about the verbal jousting with Rawlings as the play by play announcer! I did get them but was surprised several readers wished that Rawlings would have thrown in a few jests of his own. I had forgotten they have come to look forward to his wit and I did not give them that so I suppose I did not live up to his expectations for them.

I did not expect my readers to find Darcy's comment about Standing guard over the pastries as cringeable! I know I made the word up but it fits. Words are nothing more than the means to express oneself in a way that communicates exactly what is intended. Cringeable fits.

I meant it as a fun charming little jest but the readers took it differently. this is what is difficult to do - write with the fewest words possible what you mean. Commenters are constantly misunderstood because, let us face it, we cannot see the body language or the facial expressions when one speaks in the written form. I guess that is why I focus on facial expresssions so much and when I looked back at the passage I realize I did not present Darcy in a relaxed chuckling sweet kind of way so the reader's expectations (acting for Elizabeth) was that he was not being funny. my readers put their own take on it to Elizabeth and after I re-read it they were right. It did come across as harsh. But sometimes writers just write what the character is saying. lol

Reader Kent (ballpoint2) announced he is pissed at Darcy. Well, I announced I was pissed at Darcy in P&P so I guess I did what I set out too. At least at this stage of the game. I did not create an immediate lovable Darcy nor did Austen.

I never expect comments from new readers so when I get them I am delighted and surprised. This week a reader from the Canary Islands (Canarias) wrote a nice long comment. She has gotten into the story and her comment it caught my breath well caught mine! I love everyone's comments and look forward to my regular posters. they help me so much by seeing if my intent is working. Most times yes, some times no. Sometimes I let them have an incorrect thought because I know it will become clearer as the chapters unfold. I just am honored when anyone leaves a comment of any kind.

Now I have yet to decide the glimpse of Heaven but soon. I expect that I will go with my beta's because they represent the readers. I am too close to my story and am not the best judge of everything. I shall let my beta's be my Rawlings.

I am needed on the homeowners association stuff today so, till tomorrow! I expect to have it all done today and tomorrow I need to read 5 plays for consideration for next year's shows. HOpe they are not dated from 1950. We need new stuff.

gayle

Chapter 22

To my readers, today I post Chapter 22. I thought it might be a good idea to explain my reason for the chapter scenes with each post. Today, we have three scenes: 1. the verbal duel between Elizabeth and Darcy; 2. A pool game ; and 3; Breakfast scene

The verbal duel. when I grappled with included this scene that has been added to many ff stories and I worried about how I was to present it differently. It is a complex scene in P&P and with the additon of three extra men I knew it would be difficult to do. One day, probably when cleaning, I thought RAwlings! Let us have him interpret the scene. Let us see it through his eyes. He is an observant fellow. Perhaps this would be a fresh way to look at the words thrown about in that room. I did have to change a few things from canon (well the addition of 3 men forces some changes). So I had Caroline not playing cards. I had her making her power play.

Rawlings does bring some of the thoughts back to the "business" aspect, which is important. But I did wish to share my interpretations of the scene. Of all the dialogue in P&P I found this to be difficult for me. I have had to really pay close attention to the words and I am sure I did not succeed in getting everything right. Oh well, I hope the readers appreciate the use of RAwlings. It is different I think than other writers approaches. But then I have not read all the stories out there yet! Since the pov was RAwlings, we do not get to hear what is in Darcy's mind. I am sure this will frustrate my readers too. but the time is coming when they will hear it all.

And did you too want Blake to slap her? lol

Scene 2 - the pool game. this was the direct result of housework. It was suggested chapter needed more (or was that chapter 20?) anyway, I felt I needed to show Blake and Darcy having a conversation. They are men. Men are blunt in most cases but I think there are some areas where bluntness would not work. Hell, there might be a duel as a result. Perhaps we should go back to dueling ways. Social discourse would be at a minimum. I know I digress! Again! The message Darcy wanted to convey was to convince Blake to consider all the issues before he acted. Of course their talk begins in perfect double-speak but deteriorates into less obtuse passages. By the end there does not seem to be any hidden message- it is plain spoken. I am anxious to hear what the readers say.

Scene 3- Elizabeth and Darcy breakfast together. Ok I needed to have at least one scene with the two. I wanted it a little charming as well as serious. Darcy is a serious fellow and he is worried about what Blake intends. Sounds like alot of my readers are worried too! She of course understands his pointed reference to Blake, and abruptly leaves. She is a lady and acted accordingly. But did Blake hear Darcy? He was standing in the doorway. mmmmmmm. But Darcy is such a gentleman having that tray of sweets sent to the room. These are the little things that show underneath it all, he is a wonderful guy.

Finally, when Bingley enters the room for breakfast I have them talk about the card table. It was always my thought that Darcy convinced Bingley not to have the card table the next night to spare Elizabeth any uneasiness. P&P hinted at it and so I added the bit at the end. I always thought it was a very telling action and showed Darcy in a better light. YOu just had to read between the lines. lol

Well, that is my take on the chapter. next week, I will do the same. There will be more of NP before the Bennets leave. And then there is that whole glimpse of heaven issue I must resolve before I post next week. Should I or should I not? mmmm.

gayle

To glimpse or not to glimpse

Seems like my little glimpse of heaven is causing all my beta's to have a few jitters. It is such a little thing, lol, that I find it a little hard to understand the reservations expressed by everyone. Perhaps it is because it takes a character so out of, well, character. Would Elizabeth glimpse or not? Would Jane?

Well, I have been doing some deep thinking, and today I will do some deep cleaning, just to resolve it in my head. Chapter 23 is fast approaching and the issue of the glimpse will be staring me in the face. - another laugh here! If I take it out then I will most definitely do a blog post to include the reference for anyone that reads this stuff so they will not wonder for the rest of their lives. In fact, if I put the reference in the blog then, then I will do a poll.

Polls, what good are they? Do they work? Take my little Rawlings poll. Does it matter which way it went, because truthfully the story is written. In a way that was a bad poll because it had no power to persuade me to change the direction of the story. But in my mind, it helped me to understand if I was conveying the right words for the reason Rawlings is pursuing Lydia. There is nothing in my story to make one think so ill of Lydia. There is only the preconceived notion of Lydia.

Ah, Lydia and Rawlings. Rawlings and Lydia. Lydia and...

Back to the glimpse. The whole, giggle, conversation about the glimpse happens later with the men and the way they speak is not so subtle. Men may speak in riddles or use symbolism to convey thoughts (like the pool game that is coming up Tomorrow) but nowadays it is just blunt words. Was it just the regency era that caused discussions to have hidden messages and meanings? Do men do this today?

When men are speaking to men, I mean are they clever? Men speaking to women are pretty blunt. It is like colors. They see red, we see crimson. We use softer words they use harsher ones. It is an old joke about the colors. I remember an old Cary Grant movie, Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, and Mrs. Blandings is showing the painters the colors she wants for the rooms. She holds up a tiny piece of thread and say match this - it is robins egg blue not sky blue. She does the same with other colors. In the end the two painters go over her list and say Blue, Green, White. lol yes even back in those ancient times of yesteryear, men were projected this way. There must be some truth because I tried to do this with my sons. I wanted an off white color for my living area, Stephen kept saying White. His brother, Edward at least said light yellow. lol They did not understand eggshell. lol

To glimpse or not. DebraAnne holds the key. She is my last beta to look at the Chapter.

And in this weeks post I removed the open slot remark. it is now take possession of the territory. It is less, umm, pornographic in image. Although it would have fit in well with AHA and HG. Originally I used open slot because I did not wish to say fall into the hole! which is even worse. so I switched it to slot which I thought was less graphic but now it is pretty vanilla. If I was writing a NC-17 story then the open slot would work better. The glimpse would seem pretty tepid, though.

What to do? word choice does make a difference. It does go to characterizations. I cannot forget that.

I have a week to resolve the glimpse. Good gosh, I hope i do not spend it in cleaning! lol

gayle

Drawing the S Line in the Sand

I forgot an S yesterday. Shock. I thought I would add it today. You could replace Speculation with Shock or I could say the 4 s's of writing. almost sounds like a hiss! Maybe it is a symbol. lol

We heard the term Shock and Awe back in 2011 and it was said pretty regularly for a while. Have not heard it spoken recently so I guess it is Ok for me bring it back.

Does a writer wish to shock and awe her reader? What is the difference between Shock and Surprise and Awe and Ahh? I can answer that with a really old saying ( a judge used this one time when defining porn) I know when I see it! lol It is true. There is no actual line in the sand that takes a surprise from a bunch of people jumping out yelling Happy Birthday to walking in to your bedroom and your hubby is ....... fill in the blank with anything you might find Shocking!

So how do I shock my reader? Do I want to? and have I done that yet. Well, yes I want to shock my reader but it must be a very rare occasion. I have not yet crossed that line in the sand. Well, not in any posted chapter.

Whoa. Lightning. I am sitting in the middle of a lightning storm here. Yellow sky, flashes of brilliant light, rolling thunder. In the mountains we are closer this weather and so the lightning is more vivid, the thunder deafening and the rain, well, ok wet is wet! oops there goes another lightning flash. perhaps I should go make some coffee. I feel sorry for the old lady walking her dog on a morning like this. and no I am not going to shock you with some awful joke like the lightning struck the lady or the dog. That is not shock that is just well stupid. The rain up here is different - it almost always rains straight down. Rarely does it come in the windows. Never lived in a place like this. oops there goes a big one and a loud clap. Exciting two watch. I wonder if I should be on the computer. Our Electric and Phone lines are underground so I suspect I am ok.

Back to shock and the line in the sand. A writer often has to choose the method for conveying new information. But the difference between surprise and shock is nothing more than a line drawn in the sand. The sand shifts and so does the news. I believe a few people would say Rawlings preference was a shock, but I drew the line and deemed it a surprise. I jumped out to the readers and yelled "Surprise, surprise". There are people that are easily shocked and then there are folks like me. So my line in the sand is a lot closer to the water's edge for the shocking news than anyone thinking my surprises have been so far. (damn this last sentence is just crap.)

Now I do have a couple of well place shocks. At least in my opinion, but they are reserved for climatic scenes. I don't just jump out and shock you. Surprise yes, shock no. I try to build up to the shock with surprises and suspense and then just when you have speculated the situation, I shock you. lol

Rawlings liking Lydia - surprise
Blake and his intentions - suspense
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx- shock

Stay tuned.

and the Awe! well that is a tidbit for another day.

gayle

The Three S's of my story.

I do like my fans to have to speculate after they read a chapter. I want them to see several different possibilities for the character to go, who the character may be, or how a situation will be resolved.

I sometimes like to surprise and sometime I prefer suspense. There is a difference. I read an article about writing tips covering tension in a story. The only reason to read a book is for the tension. So I set about discovering the means to create tension in a book. As I state, there are two ways: surprise and suspense. Alfred Hitchcock had his own definition (I think it was him, I have read so many writing tips). Imagine five men sitting around a poker table. One man gets up and goes outside to his car to retrieve something. A bomb goes off under the poker table. Surprise! Now the same scene, five men at the table joking about the idiots that walk around with those the end is near signs and then the writer "shows" the bomb ticking and the time left under the table. The men are each constantly getting up, going the bathroom, get some food, all the while the bomb is ticking. You are wondering if they will find it, you are wondering which of the men might be killed, you even are made to wonder if the man that left for to retrieve something from the car was the killer because the bomb went off while he was outside. But all the time the reader is on the edge of their seat knowing the bomb is ticking. That is suspense.

I believe you need both in a story. Once a writer has set about surprising his readers she needs to make sure it is believable. (I for one think Rawlings early admission he liked Lydia was a surprise and of course who tied for the horse was also a surprise- I don't think anyone gave Kent a real chance. But I did use the readers passion for Darcy as the smokescreen). I have plenty of surprises and so now I can go either way with the story even now I can surprise you with no surprise at all. In fact, that is the fun of writing. Being able to catch the reader speculating. But there should be a reason for the surprise and not just for the sake of surprise. I have a reason for Rawlings to be interested in Lydia. So while it was a surprise to the reader, it will make more and more sense as we traipse through the chapters. Never surprise for surprise alone. It will bore the reader. Only use surprise to move the story forward. but not as much as suspense.

Ah, suspense. That bomb ticking and ticking. Sometimes the reader will be let in on the answer and other times the story will just build with the reader speculating the answer. Knowing the bomb is there is knowing the answer of sorts - it will go off. speculations about when and who dies exist. Now sometimes suspense is created without the reader being given the answer. Let us say the writer showed a man setting up the bomb (dressed in black) then going back to his car and changing clothes and then waiting for others to show up. He walks in with the deck of cards. Now we know there is a bomb, we know he knows, but we don't know what will happen and we don't know which man it is. So while we know about the bomb we don't know the rest. Suspense galore.

Having suspense in my story is one of my goals. Right now the main suspense is what is Blake's intentions. I have slowly built in the reader's mind that he can go several ways. But the reader is held in suspense until he acts. Another example is who is Kent and what is he up to, of course I started it now because the Blake one is coming to a point where the reader will soon know. Kent picks up the story suspense and it will get more intense. But in the end the underlying true suspense has been and will remain, Darcy and secondly, the alliance they have created. And again, I do not want suspense without reason.

As this is my first ever writing project, I am learning as I go. When I plotted my story, I asked myself at each point would this work better as a surprise or suspense. I will try never to surprise for surprise sake and to keep the suspense real. My three S's: Surprise, Suspense, and Speculation. Have I achieved this? Do you wish to turn the page? Do you long for the rest of the story? Would you stay up all night to finish? Those are the reasons to read a book according to the publishers. I hope to achieve at least a little of this.

Happy Symbols on the 4th

Happy Independence Day to fellow Americans. Holidays are certainly different nowadays from the Regency era. It might have been nice to have a few scenes with some wonderful celebrations; but it seems life back then was rather holiday-less!

Well, the British certainly were in no mood to celebrate the American 4th of July (although the holiday did not exist nationwide until 1870, Boston celebrated it first in 1783 with NC the first state to do so that same year). But I suspect, back in the regency era, it was a day of quiet anger. Chip, chip, chip. America was but a small chip breaking away from its mother. Ironic isn't it. Breaking away from one's parents and siblings is also an underlying theme of P&P. Did Jane Austen feel this change and somehow it became a subtle symbol that perhaps she may not have been aware of?

Philosophers and poets can find hidden meaning in everything. They can look at a stream running through a path and write all about how this is a symbol of something catastrophic or life changing. lol Well, I have always delved into symbolism and there is plenty in my story (and irony too); but I can assure you I ain't no poet! lol We use to say, a'int a'int in the dictionary. Well it is and has been recognized as a word back in 1749. I used to look up the strangest things. But back to my thought, since I seem to have one today, symbols.

John Phillip Sousa wrote rousing marches and there was plenty of cymbol action! lol I know I am in a 4th of July mode today.

When a story has a symbol or two it rouses my interest I am a person that likes puzzles and I enjoy reading between the lines, under the lines, around the lines, over the lines and why even the lines themselves. I like authors that have taken the time to study human nature and family life and well anything beyond the normal kiss kiss stuff. I like there to be hidden meanings and underlying themes and symbols.

In addition to the obvious (well now that I explained it) symbol of aristocrat vs tradesman for the race, I also answered Kent at AHA and revealed that yes the gentlemen took time out to play games which was suppose to be one of those symbols - the gentry was great at leisure (which a conversation about that happened earlier in the story) and the tradesmen's boys were trying to fit in and show they too can compete for wasted and expensive time. It is symbol for greater symbols. I know I am symboling you to death here, but I hear the resonating sounds going off as the fireworks are bursting in air, the rockets red glare, and I am giving proof through this blog that I am still here! Songs live in my brain all the time.

Oh, and Melda, if I am fortunate enough to have you as a reader here, I answered your question this morning. No hidden words, no clever retorts, no symbols. Just plain truth. Happy 4th.

Now I am off to spend my day celebrating in a small American town. You know, a parade (ours is for little tricycles decorated beautifully and ridden by the wee ones), food, music, fireworks and well, friends.

gayle

Blanks

Today everything is blank.

Even this post is mostly blank.

My thoughts are blank.

I have nothing to add to this blog, or my story today.

Some days are just blank.

Well, off to exercise because Heather told me movement unlocks the mind. I am sure she meant physical movement.

Perhaps when I return I will not see everything as blank. If I do then there is only one solution: housework. Bah. Exercise better work.

Till later, hopefully.

Screw Ups!

I do it often it seems. I had Elizabeth seated between Mr. Hurst and Rawlings when two paragraphs later I had her sit down next to Lord Blake. I do screw up with the continuity thing as well as other stuff to.

I have been know to post the unbeta version of a chapter. Egad. It is ok at AHA and HG cause i can go in and correct it, but DWG does not allow it. It is another reason not to ever post there again. lol I don't know what they are afraid of? They should just remove the posts when the chapter goes into the archive - they seem to be afraid the archivers would have a problem if a writer made the changes in the DWG board after the chapter was placed in Epilogue. Well, people, just take away the DWG post.

Back to screw ups. I also screw up in thinking I have not received back a chapter from a beta. Well, that is never true. It is the total disorganization of my files that causes the problem. My son, the computer nerd, has yelled at me and told me not to make folders within folders within folders. I have 7 levels of folders in some places. He tries to make CD's of my hard drive now and then (he knows I kill computers - every year he has to come fix the damn things) and he gets frustrated with my habits. Well, he needs something to do when he comes to visit.

Well, I screw up when posting comments too. It is why I try not to follow to many stories because I do confuse the characters. Did you know there are three types of memory. Yes, I learned this when I was an instructional design specialist: Use trying to remember phone numbers as an example:

1. saying it out loud. Some people can only remember if they recite several times.
2. read it several times.
3. write it down or dial it. This physical action is my memory habit. I have to write down (or keystroke to be exact) for it to stay with me. Or push that keypad several times - i can remember the places to push better than 1 and 2 above.

For me reading is the least effective but after a couple hundred times it does sink in (such as the number of times I have read P&P), saying it so-so but no. 3 works every time. this is why I suppose I can recall my own story the best. But even then, I screw up.

Oxygen levels play havoc with memory. If a person's oxygen level is low, memory is one of the areas hurt. Most people, healthy people that is, have a 97% level of oxygen saturation at least and maintain it regardless of what they do- sit, stand, walk, run, etc. Unfortunately, my oxygen levels have fallen to below 90% and memory lapses is a symptom.

So if occasionally I screw up by misstating a character in a story or even if I get the whole story wrong (and it was really someone elses story) just blame it on the oxygen not making it to my brain.

gayle