Finishing chapter 28

today and tomorrow I will finish polishing chapter 28. Whew. Another long chapter - over 7000 words. that is twice as long as early chapters. but this is another important chapter where a lot of stuff is done. I could have made it shorter by telling everyone but instead, I created showing scenes. Ah. the difference is staggering. I have become addicted to showing but have to pinch myself to make sure I do some telling in a story. Sometimes we just don't care how many steps it took to get from the horse to the house. lol

I have included a scene with just one person. Man, those are hard. There is nothing to ping against. Just thoughts and actions. And it needs to convey feelings to the reader. Deep feelings. this is an area that I am moving further into in my writing. How to work with one character. Here is a practice exercise, which I may one day turn into a story. this is only one character and I am trying to pull a certain emotion out of the reader:

Dewey Beach Mystery

She walked along the beach shore wearing nothing but her short black nightgown. Shivering at the nip in the air, the slim brunette wrapped her arms around herself. Her feet tingled with the stinging water lapping upon them. Abruptly stopping when her toe scraped against something prickly, she leaned down to take a closer look. With nothing but the moonlight aiding her quest, she barely made out an old frayed rope halfway buried under the congealed sand.

Cautiously she slipped her naked hands around the rope and pulled. She easily freed the rope from the grainy sea warden but it was caught on something. She pulled and tugged until she realized it was not caught on something, it was merely tied to something. Using the rope as a guide map, she walked gingerly into the edge of the water. She stood staring at a boat, a rowboat to be exact. She approached slowly inhaling through her lips. Jumping backwards, her eyes widened when the tarp on top was thrown off violently.

She forced her athletic legs to sprint through the hard moist ground but it was only a moment before she was merely attempting to propel her way through the mounds of now dry and heavy sand. Grasping at the sea grass, she continued on, not stopping until she fell up the wooden stairs. She continued to crawl upwards to the sliding door grabbing anything to help boost her forward. She ignored the blood seeping from the splintery scrapes upon her legs. Without looking back, she tugged on the sliding door but it would not open. Feeling around the deck, she found the heavy metal ashtray, quickly smashing it through the glass. Her heaving chest and staccato panting caused her to fumble with the lock. She heard the click. As the door moved easily to the left, she struggled to slip inside when suddenly her arm grazed upon something hard and wet. She lost consciousness when her head hit the Italian tile floor but not before she saw him.

So which emotion did you feel? Was it full of tension? Do you want to read more? I had hints: the naked hands - was she unmarried? did she leave her jewelry behind. Why was the door locked? Was this her house? Did she know the ashtray was there? Who was in the tarp? Was she running because she knew him or was he a stranger? Who was him? Was fear evoked? Why was she outside in a nightgown? Did she have an argument with someone? If this was her house why was the door locked? Well, these are just the sorts of questions that create stories.

Well, this was just a writing exercise where I had to use only one character and action to convey an emotion and create a scene. I had ten minutes to type. this is what I came up with! lol Now i see a whole story bubbling in my head. It is a modern day Washington DC mystery. Of course, the federal government is a "character" and i have images of all the characters - they were the ones I worked with - well, bits and pieces and sometimes two characters become one. sorta like my Rawlings - he is a little of both my sons - witty (my second son) and social that drinks (my eldest). I always said if I could have collapsed my two boys into one I would have had perfection. lol But it was more fun to raise them as two individuals. and some of their traits would not merge well.

well off to finish my chapter and today it is off to Asheville for lunch and whatnot and tonight is our neighborhood cocktail party (last friday of every month). I have to make an appetizer. Today I will just get something to take - no cooking for me.

well, enjoy your day.

gayle