Bathrooms

Ok, today I want to think about bathrooms. Lately on all the design shows there seems to be this big trend to convert your bathroom into a spa. Good gosh. A spa. You need a jet tub and candles and in addition to the elaborate double sinks and commodes. I guess a sink, shower, and toilet is not good enough. lol Americans don't say toilet, like I need to use the toilet. When I travelled to England and had to use the restroom I asked some Brits and they did not understand me. They stared at me with these looks I knew meant they thought I was crazy. Finally when I said the toilet they pointed me in the right direction. Never say restroom in England.

Our bathroom in Venice was interesting to say the least. It had the sink, toilet, and a shower head. there were drains in the floor. I had never showered with a sink and toilet in the shower with me. lol that was an experience. In Rome we used used a bidet.

Once I used a female urinal. It was this long tube coming from the wall with a cup of some kind on the end of it. you place a tissue like cover and hold it where you need it and pee. lol My friend Bert would not try it but heck I like new experiences so I did. It was at a gas station in some far out place so I assume my entire experience was captured on hidden camera and posted on the internet somewhere. I don't care as long as they hide my face. Have you ever peed holding some long vacuum like tube up to your "wee-wee". lol It is harder that you think - first where are your panties? Around your ankles but you do try not to let them hit the dirty floor and don't forget you must stand in a peculiar way. It was quite comical. I could not stop laughing. That was my funniest experience with a bathroom.

Now we get to the Regency era. What did they do? I am sure chamberpots were used. But where was the chamber pots at dinner parties and balls? how many chamberpots did they provide (if any at all) If for no reason other than toilets am I glad to live in this time. Perhaps Mr. Bennet had a peeing problem and therefore he did not go to many assemblies.

I notice it is extremely rare for any writer to include bathroom activity of any kind in their story. Mostly a tub bath once in a while but the other? no. it is as taboo as my asking directions for a toilet in America. We say restroom (where there is rarely a sofa or comfortable chairs) or bathroom (where there is no shower or tub) or occasionally we say John - like we need to give John something.

When I worked you could tell when men were headed off to the "john" they carried the newpaper with them. As a former secretary from when I first started working, I knew this meant he would be in conference for a while if anyone called. He did not have to say anything. I have always wondered why men do this? Does reading help? Women don't seem to need to read the society page while we, ummmm, poop. We tend to get in and get out quickly. It is not a library. Oh well, the mysteries of life.

Maybe I will put a chamberpot in my story. First I have to research it and find out what they do at parties and balls. Surely no one is expected to hold their urine for an entire evening. I saw picture once where the men, once the ladies removed themselves from the dining room, peed in pots while they drank their brandy. I could bring out the peeing pots with my guys. They could have a distance olympics or maybe pee to a tune or something.

Well, that was my fascination today. Good gosh - what will I think of tomorrow. YOu must come back to see if I have returned to classy or remained here in the proverbial gutter.

till tomorrow,

gayle