Here is a peek at my cover (draft version) hope you like it.

This is my final blog on Expectations

It was fun and a good writing experience. It helped me focus my daily writing. It unblocked some thoughts, but now it is time for it to end. I will leave it posted.

Thanks to everyone. Now it is time for me to move beyond Expectations. Well, not to forget I will be doing a sequel. So hang in there. It might be a few months or so.

All future posts will be at my new blog: A New World of Expectations.

Gayle

I am going to be a Grandma!

What a busy time. First I became very ill and yet they don't know what it was but I did have a substantial amount of blood in my urine. Perhaps my mom should not have worked me so hard organizing my bedroom. lol NO she did not do this. I have had a change of medications and things starting getting better. I was very ill for awhile.

My son called and informed me he and his wife are expecting a child in November - my first grandchild. I am very happy for them and well I can see a few shopping trips in the future.

Today I had my breathing test. Good news. I have not lost any capacity since my last test over a year ago.

So sorry for everyone that have been here checking my blog but I have not even turned the computer on most days.

So great news and I am still kicking. So maybe I can tackle all the stuff I put off for a month.

gayle

Enjoying my break

I have enjoyed my break so far. I expect to be back soon. Looking forward to the GGR get together in March.

Still have to find a director for my theater group for June. Time is pressing.

need to type up the minutes.

need to review the chapters staring at me.

Need to kiss my mom as she is here with me as we "re-do" my bedroom. She redoes more bedrooms than Hilton. It will take several weeks and then she will be returning to Florida.

Tonight I finish My BFF. And send my comments to Ruth. lol I am such a bad person - I hate to comment because I never know what to say! lol But I shall learn from my own special readers.

off to watch some tv and fix dinner for my friend - it is monday.

gayle

Oh and somehow I joined facebook and I have no clue what to do! lol

Now it is done

Today I will finish responding to the comments I received and for one month I will take off. One full month. I will let the stories float in my head. I will play around with the plot. I will sleep with my men and my NEW characters. lol

I will not write again until the ides of March. By then I will have the plots resolved and research done and will be able to begin the process all over again.

Here are my stories:

A New World of Expectations (thanks to Jose for the title)
Wretched Beginnings and Turning Points - The complete story of Wickham and Darcy
In Search of Perfections (ISP)
Vaults

The only exception might be to put together a short story for the Jane Austen contest. I do have a plot bunny hopping in my head. Hippity Hop. It will be something new for me. A contest with some actual money. lol I am sure the winner will come from some professional, but it might be fun to try. But then I may be letting my readers' kind words go to my head. Oh well, nothing ventured nothing gained. May the best plot bunny win.

Till next month.

Gayle Messick
gayle.messick@gmail.com

I give my thanks to my Loyal Readers

Does a tree make a sound when it falls - yes if my loyal readers are there to read each action beat. And so, it goes. Without the reader, there is no reason to write. authors may say they do it for themselves but don't believe them. We do it for you. We want your love and adulation. We want you to come back and say wonderful and exciting and I can't wait until next week. It is the main course in a one course meal. And for me, I am so thankful a group of readers stuck by me week after week spoon feed this writing invalid. lol And when someone is new to this, as I am, every comment is appreciated and cherished. I never understood what impact comments have on the author. They do. Although I have always been a lurker in the past, I will do my best to comment everytime I read a chapter and try to join in some of the community topics. This is what my wonderful fans have taught me.

I especially wish to thank the ladies that have stuck by me from the beginning even though the angst was high at times and especially with Darcy and Elizabeth. First I must thank KarenA. My very first reader and from her excitement spurred me on to finish the story. Poor Karen had read only the rough draft and believe me many things were added afterwards. I am embarrassed now with the meager words since my polishing could add as much as 5000 words to a chapter. lol

I have held the hand of a few of the angst wimps, but that is OK. As you can see from the ending I really did not want to reveal who she choses since it was one of the major thrusts of the story. Hence, my reason for not telling. So all my angst wimp fans, you know who you are and I hope you are pleased with the ending and with the epilogue which I wrote a little romance just for you.

No one noticed I took down the spoiler after a while. Perhaps that is why my numbers were not as high as other stories, but then I had some people that new the answer (via PM) and still had to wait until the story was complete. It is OK. But I will always include angst in my stories. It is who I am.

Now I had readers that wanted more Elizabeth. sorry this is the man's pov. Austen did not give us the men's pov. I want to write a story that did. I understand men more than women.

Now there were my readers that wished to understand more about the chapter posted and they did their best to provide their analysis in thier comments. I discovered many holes in my story which I hurriedly found the future chapter and closed the hole. NOw everyone thinks I was so smart when really it was the combined effort of me and my readers. Now someone has just pointed out another issue which I will fix even if the story is finish, just in case someone reads it later. There were times several of my regular posters got it right when I did not want them too. LOl. And then no one guessed Blake would reject both alliances, although severa believed Darcy would do just that. Ah the minds of my readers was the most intriguing part of my posting the story. All of you deep thinkers know who you are too.

And then there were the fans that dropped a single line or two but they were just as important because I know, as a lurker, how hard it is to write something to an author. I am shy in that way too and if you read any of my comments I tend to be brief. So yes, I can appreciate just the quick word of encouragement.

speaking of lurkers - i always cherished the first time de-lurker. It said my story grabbed them and they broke through that invisible barrier to let me know.

Which comes to my last of the readers, the view count or lurkers. My numbers stayed much higher than I anticipated. It is always a risk to write a story that does not come from Elizabeth's POV or offer many, many paragraphs of romance or a storyline plotted to create angst and suspense and tension. Also, many people don't care about business matters and that is a drag on many. But that part is ok. I am pleased that many more than 100 people read and liked my story well enough to follow it through to the end.

speaking of ends.

Now that I have thanked my fans I feel the best reward is to give them the final post of Expectations.

gayle

Thank you, I am so honored you have shared your thoughts.

PatM
66
realelegance
64
tuyen le
60
alienor4
53
melda
50
krishub
48
Kathy
43
Lisette
38
Mischa
37
Geri
34
lucy6526
34
RuthO
34
EmilynW
28
jean_genie
26
darcyfan_71
25
KJ62
24
dandiefan
22
marliz
21
fcmejias
20
foxchild
20
sadieo
20
sadriani
19
Bfly
17
school librarian
16
kayenne
15
Meg_Evenstar
13
Kathy Taylor
13
taryn
9
Lise
8
ballpoint202
8
Karen A
7
tac
7
Chica
6
Kara M
6
anushca
5
Sandra Leonie
5
tripandfall06
5
josephine
4
ophelia
4
Genevieve
3
barbara s
3
Lydia
3
happyeverafter
3
MAB
3
pmca
3
karasings
2
sdzechman
2
Moushele
2
Mo
2
Amy Z
2
terie
2
LoriP
1
alberni
1
milhistbuff1
1
AbigailR
1
Evie
1
pianobarb
1
lsa
1
stevieb
1
aylag
1
Calani
1
CourtneyA
1
hwashih
1
Paija
1
SandyW
1
teapot50
1
StephanieB
1
mommakittie
1
tJean
1
ErinMcW
1
DebraAnne

My thanks to HeatherF

today, I wish to thank HeatherF, who was my inspiration for writing. Heather has helped me through each and every chapter, keeping me correct in all things British (ground floor instead of first floor) as well as pointing out every single rare and unusual name for 1811 I chose: Gerald, Victoria, Eveyly -Evelina.

When I found the Jane Austen fan sites I also discovered Heather's In Loving Memory. It was the very story in which I took the chance and posted a comment. Heather will recall I was the first one to guess who the almond shaped eyes belonged too. You see even back then I liked a puzzle, a bit of suspense, and some surprises.

Heather is one of the writers that draws you in, wraps her beautiful prose around your heart and makes you eagerly wish for another chapter with every visit to a posting site. I admire how she interprets a scene, the flow of the words and even the rhythm of the sentences.

When Heather took a break in the story and HG went down and AHA was not at its apex as it is now, I decided to try my hand at writing. I have never written a line a dialogue in my life. I had no training of any kind, especially of putting together a story. I just had a desire to create a rival for Darcy (much like Heather did - she left me wanting more) Here is her paragraph that inspired me:

After a few brief minutes of solitude, she sensed rather than heard someone in the shadows behind her and turned towards the far end of the terrace. She could vaguely make out a dark shape sitting against the wall; whoever was there, she was determined to leave them in peace. Elizabeth had only taken two steps towards the door before the stranger unfurled slowly from the bench like a stretching cat, causing her to pause. He sauntered towards her; his straw blonde hair shining in the light from the ballroom windows. The man paused a respectful distance away and executed a perfect bow.

"My Lady." He addressed her with a confident smile.

Wonderfully written and it sent my mind into a place it had never been before. I loved Lord Cresswell. I loved that Darcy had a rival and that he was such an interesting person.

But the words in the paragraph is what captured my imagination. She drew a picture in my mind and I just wanted more. I was hopelessly hooked on the business of writing. I admired how so few words conjured up so many thoughts in my mind.

With no ILM to read, no other stories at HG, I sought to write my own rivalry. But I also wished to look at the Regency era from the mens' viewpoint. And I found that one paragraph written by Heather made me wish to create the suspense as she had done. I wrote a horrible first chapter, posted it in Coming Attractions and then waited. Very nice comments, but something was missing. Well, no beautiful prose, no sense of timing, everything in a telling mode. Nothing resembling the wonderful paragraph of Heather's.

I was aided by Amanda (Palabra) in how to structure a chapter in a story and how to show not tell. Wonderful help and got me on the right path. But still I lacked the flow of the sentences, the easy feel of the words.

Somehow I was able to secure Heather's help. I know not how but I must say I was blessed to be given her as one of my beta's. With the excellent help from DebraAnne on grammar, punctuation and all things of that nature - verb tense - Heather could focus on the feel of a chapter.

and when she needed to tell me I should redo something it was with the gentleness of touches. she helped me understand titles, etiquette of the times, and even how to curse properly. No Damn Bloody Charm. lol

If my story had some charm of its own, then I thank Heather for it. And the suspense and tension and mystery. She is my ideal of the best of writers for this field and I was honored by her help and support.

Thank you Heather. Thank you very much.

gayle

DebraAnne has them now

changes made to the two last posts and I even changed a little of 50A. Why does my muse insist on telling me things so late. good gosh. she is the devil not me.

DebraAnne has a skill that I do not. She knows when to insert a comma and when not too. She knows when "had" is to be used and not "have." I just type. HOnestly, my muse floats in and out of present and past tense. She talks fast sometimes when a tiny comma pause should be inserted and then other times she comma pauses, to think I think, before hurrying to the end of the sentence.

I bought a book about grammar. It made no sense. I think because it was written in perfect grammar. lol

I have the greatest respect for those that can properly use punctuation, verb tense, and other forms of grammar. I have a hard enough time with spelling and if I did not have the microsoft package to help me find passive voice I would be lost.

DebraAnne helps so many writers that I can but admire her willingness to do so, her ability to handle so many chapters, her ease at editing, and lastly, her organizational skills. I have thousands of files for Expectatons and have lost that many as well, I have no organizational skills at all except what I hold in my head.

I thank DebraAnne for her untiring support she gave me (and let's face it 50 some chapters is tiring!). I could not have done this without her help.

So, Thank You.

Gayle

The End

lol I finally typed those words on the epilogue and have sent it off to Heather just a few days ago. So now my story as originally planned is finished. What a learning experience!

Just the beta changes are needed.

whew. now I can sit back and relax, NOT.

off to read some plays.

gayle

Only the epilogue left

Yea! I sent the final part of the final chapter off to Heather! I feel so good that I have completed the story (yes, I know I promised ten new chapters but that will be as a new story, although it does close the final loose ends of this one. Perhaps Book III is the correct title.)


My epilogue is short, too short, and begins five years later. I think I will have an anniversary - each year give a progress report. Of course they will be in showing rather than telling and there will be suspense, because that is what I like to write, but that is how I view it now.

It seems everyone was subdued with this last posting. I believe the dream trial was a great last minute addition and I believe I fooled everyone with Jane as the judge. Of course how could I deprive all the Rawlings fans of him. coming up will be Blake for his loyal fans. Some exiciting posts too. cliffies and more of the drama to come. I should renumber the last chapter and make it 51 and 52. perhaps i will with 49C as chapter 50.

well, today is sunny and cold. yesterday the temps fell below the freezing mark. Today will be warmer with this cold front moving out. I believe we have had our winter here in North Port, FL.

Mom's house is quiet and she lets me write to my hearts content. she cooks for me not wishing to disturb me because she so wants me to finish the book, get it published and present her "book" I will have to consider the font size for her.

Next week I shall begin my salutes to my betas and supporters.

Oh, if real elegance reads this I have added a romantic scene to the final chapter, but Kelly I do have lots of suspense for you too. And a surprise or two.

I am hoping everyone will be honest when it is finished and let me know what they did not like so I can look objectionally at the story for my revision. I do know I will move the Falcon up to the very beginning and taunt readers with who the spy is - could it be Kent or Rawlings or Logan or Blake. I think that will appeal to my boys right off. I will also make the Olympic games the reason for going to NP and not just an afterthought. An invitation will be sent out and I will introduce the new men that way. I did have a neighbor stop reading because she thought it was too confusing with all the new men. She is not a fan of P&P so she did not catch some of the implied stuff. I must take that into consideration.

So I will ask for help but will anyone want to share? Perhaps I will ask for it via email or PM and let the other type of comments be posted under the comment thread. I will think about it. I don't know how to convey to everyone that criticism of any kind does not offend me. I prefer someone to say that was stupid than to stop reading. silence is the only thing I fear.

well, off to look at the epilogue, again. and if I can finish it this week then I will take my break. I want to finish reading Ruth's My B.F.F. for one and all her stories. I want to help PatM with her story and I want to buy and read some of the newly published books from some of the authors here. I found that I could not read other stories and books while I was writing. I found I woud borry some of their phrases. lol so I stopped reading everything. I have over 50 unread books on my bookshelves at home in NC. I knew I would not be reading for a while so I only brought down one in case I had the time. laughing loudly.

off to drink my Baby's Coffee (yep I did pickup some while in Key West) so good morning and then I shall begin working on the epilogue. I do want to keep my promise that this is a PIP.

gayle

Finished Chapter 50B

Just need to check for overused words and repeated phrases. I tend to use a lot of them when writing especially repeated phrases. Once I had three when's in the same sentence. lol shoot just look at the crappy sentences in my blog. But here I just like to get the thoughts down and to heck with the rest. Mainly, the blog was created to help me work through the posting of the story. and explain a little about me and my thoughts.

Now just the epilogue to fix. I need to add a couple of romantic scenes - yuck. I have no problem with intrique but romance is another problem.

I posted early at AHA for PatM and Lisette. they prodded me. but PatM has asked for another chapter today - no way. I have to give my beta's time to look over my chapters and I will not rush them. Besides this way I will write the new set of chapters. I have most of it in my head, now I just need to find the place to write them. I have responsibilities to the theater group and that will take up most of my time while in Florida. I have to get organized. lol

I used to work two blocks away from the White House. Today it is a mess down town. I cannot believe the number of people going out in the cold. But then this is an historic inaugeration and if I was black I believe I would be there. Let us hope the sun comes out and the wind dies down because DC can be bitter when it is windy. I used to walk 4 blocks down from the subway to get to my office. Well I can attest to how damn cold it is. But then the warmth of the building was so special and the coffee tasted better and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. we shared the weather together.

I miss my old office mates. We had a wonderful ensemble of people. we were a tight group and every day was a joy to go to the office. None of us cared if we had work at home priviledges we just preferred spending time with each other working hard to see that our projects were successful. Only place I every worked where that was the case. I wonder if it was because we had reached our potential that office politics did not matter any more.

well, off to post at dwg.

gayle

cliffies

cliffhangers are a necessary evil for us suspense and tension kind of writers. Of course you cannot do cliffies for every post but sometimes they are what is needed. Now in my chapter 50A (yes part A) i have two cliffies and cannot decide which one to end the part with. I have sent the Part A with the alternate ending off to Heather. Perhaps she can give me some insight.

I have about 5000 words left to massage. and then the epilogue but I have had to make changes in these last couple of chapters and a big change in the epilogue in order to allow for the ten chapter addition. I am happy with my changes. I am happy with the cliffies.

I will spend some time this week working on the final part of 50 and next week on the epilogue.

the reason for the chapter parts is that I changed some "telling" paragraphs to scenes. showing always takes many more words usually. Well, chapter 49A only had two paragraphs discussing Elizabeth and you can see how much I added to give the readers "showing" scenes. lol I did the same with 49B. 49C is pretty much what was almost the whole chapter.

I think the readers prefer the showing scenes so I try to move the story forward in that manner. I have more telling paragraphs in these last couple of chapters than anywhere else. I had intended for them to be telling to close the story out, much like many books I have read do. I believe it is called the denounement [sp?] and usually follows that approach. well, my epilogue will also include some scenes lol and some suspense and tension and some well romance.

romance - whew - this is hard for me to write but sometimes it is easy - such as the yellow room in the last chapter. that stuff just comes to me but the language of love well that is more difficult and just never sounds right. I find I slip into modern times when I try to write love scenes. I will have one chapter in the future 10 chapters that will be my best attempt at a dramatic love scene. Hell, I almost ran off the road while imagining it on my way down to Florida. I can still see the scene clearly.

Off to take a look at chapter 50B and figure out how to fix it. I do want to do this right.

gayle

Bye-bye Key West

Back to Mom's house again. Key West was fun--good food, nice people, and although cool, good weather. We had some sun and the days were warm enough when the sun was out. If you have never been to Key West it is a laid-back town. There is one street of importance, Duval. Along this street or right off of it, is a combination of restaurants, bars, historical homes. Hemingway's home is there, The Little White House of Truman (as in our "Give them Hell, Harry" President Truman), Robert Frost's cottage, and Flagler's Station. Flagler, one very very rich man, spent millions of dollars to build the railroad from New York to Key West - out of his own pocket - 50 million dollars back then (now would be the equivalent of one man building the Alaskan pipeline). We stayed at the Curry Mansion - excellent place. We had breakfast cooked to order every morning and a great cocktail happy hour every night - we met the other guests and talked and had our own party. One couple came from Sydney Austraila, another from Hieldelburg Germany. the rest from different parts of the US.

Of course we had a Sloppy Joe sandwich at Sloppy Joe's - Hemingway's old hangout, A margareta [sp?] at Jimmy Buffet's Margaretaville, and dinner at Kelly's (the woman in the movie Top Gun.).

well now that I am back I can tackle the rest of chapter 50. hopefully I can get it done and off to Heather by Monday. I did think about it during my drive (6 and 1/2 hours) to Key West and back. But my mom did say today I can bang away on the computer all day as a day of west. so I will. lol

When I get chapter 49B back from DebraAnne I will post.

off to finish the last chapter of Book II of Expectations.

gayle

back from the flea market

Every year mom and I go to the Ft. Myers' flea market. It has the best stuff for the best prices. My friend had a bunch of orders from our friends in Connestee Falls for mah jong sets and other game crap. We got them first and walked around. I picked up some T's fancy black ones with rhinestones and wine sayings on them.

After shopping we always go further down the road to Snook's Inn for my grouper sandwich. A wonderful outdoorsy restaurant on the water with a singer and everything. It is located on Marco Island.

Tomorrow it is Bealle's shopping - best clothes for summer anywhere. I always buy my shorts and shirts there and bathing suits.

Tuesday off the have my car serviced and hit the HOme goods stores and then lunch in Venice.

Wednesday we leave for Key West. An 8 hour trip.

So that is my plans.

I don't know when I will find time to finish chapter 50. but maybe some time when I return from Key West.

It is sunny and beautiful here - no humidity and I am about to take a dip in the pool. So I feel for all you sitting in the coldern places with the snow and wind and hail and rain and gray skies. My sky is blue.

till the next chance I get.

Oh chapter 49B will not be posted until next weekend at the earliest.

gayle

I am here!

Florida is sunny and warm and I have a surprise! I will post my next chapter today. so watch for it.

I hope you like the chapter it is the first part of a three part chapter.

Did I do a good job with Elizabeth? I know you wanted to hear her reaction to the letter and to all that happen, so I gave it to you, but are you happy? Well DebraAnne is pleased and she was right on the last chapter for the WOW factor.

so enjoy. I am off to post.

gayle

and then a dip in the pool.

Busy packing for Florida

So I won't be blogging for a couple of days.

I hope you enjoyed my big chapter. I wrote the story to take you directly there. The whole class thing and setting our men up to chose.

I have the triangle to finish up and it is taking more storytime than I thought. But like Heather said- don't rush it and end it the way I am satisified even if it means I must add a few chapters or take an extra bit of time. Well I have chapter 49 in three chapters which gives me 3 weeks. we shall see if that is sufficient to do it justice. The key has been found -shakes head - so I should be able to do it.

Next time I blog it will be from sunny, sunny Florida.

gayle

Were You Surprised?

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Falcon in one post.

Once before I wrote about suspense versus shock. The bomb under the card table that blows up and the reader did not know it was there is a shock. the bomb ticking under the table and reader knows it as the activities happen around the table. That is suspense.

I know many readers will say I should have guessed because this is an old technique used by many authors. I just chose to use the Falcon as the suspense and this chapter as the shock.

But then I tried to do that many times with some big subjects and some small. I used Blake's background as a shock because I never alluded to it, Rawlings background was suspense. I teased my reader many times and when I finally got around to revealing it much had been known.

Today is Blake-like. I did not reveal any part of it ahead of time. In fact I wrote this whole story to get to this chapter (well and the very end where I tie up the blake/darcy/elizabeth mess I created).

So what will they chose? Don't understand this question? Read the chapter!

This story has really only been about 3 men Blake, Rawlings and Darcy. Bingley is a plot device and Kent is a B player. All along the story has been about these 3 men - those that stood the most to lose in the coming industrial revolution. The Bingleys and the Kents still had the future shining down on them. but not so for our gentlemen.

I normally would use a symbol about this time so for today I shall use the ocean. The waves are in a constant motion, and they lap upon the solid ground. Well it can only remain solid but for so long as it pulls and pulls the bits of sand away. First it had to soften the land and then it had to take the sand. Only then would a new shape take place. So here we have the solid ground, the aristocracy and the gentry, with the constantly lapping waves pulling the ground away. Like all change, it will take a long time. But there is a point where the change is beginning to take notice and in my story this is it.

So what do our fine gentlemen chose?

The Key The Key The Key

Every chapter needs a key. I know this may not make sense to most people but when you write you quickly realize there must be some key to the chapter. The arc, the purpose, the one thing that causes the change, the point, etc. can be used to describe what I call the key.

I have finally found my key for the final chapter and it is good. Staring me in the face all this year and did not see it. How many times have we lost our keys and searched and searched to find them.

I remember a twilight zone show - it showed all these people putting the objects in their place for a room, almost like stage hands setting the props about. One of the people forgot to put the keys on the table. Next scene we have this single figure in the room and he was searching for the keys. the point of the show was that we do not lose our keys, the people in the future that are responsible for building the next moment from thin air are responsible to make sure everything that was done the moment before is intact. When the future person forgot the keys, the real life person could not find them. I know I am rambling but the show stuck in my mind. Is there someone out there in the next minute recreating my room. I apologize my desk is a mess again. I guess that is why my little people in the future forget my stuff all the time. all the time. I can never find anything. I overwork them if they must build my room from moment to moment. I suppose there is a huge turnover for my future little people or maybe I am responsible for full employment in the netherland. lol

Well, to get to the point, I have found my key for the final chapter. I will require a bunch of words and so the chapter may have to be... yes, I know you may not like this, but it may have to be... split. well see. I will make it as exciting as possible because I have tried to provide an exciting story.

Heather said I should not rush the final chapter so I had relented because she was right. I felt something missing. And since I agreed not to rush it, the key was given to me. (damn that rhymes)

Did the people in the future somehow communicate with me? Did my little man that got tired os recreating my desk take control of my mind and tell me what the future was? lol I don't know but like a flash it came to me. Like when we find those missing car keys - we are given this hint where to look and there they are. NOw if the future people cannot get their keys back to where the real person left them they have no recourse except to place them somewhere else and whisper where they are.

Thank you my future little person for whispering my chapter key. I can now finish it and be content. I have resolved my dilemma.

till tomorrow, maybe. I have to do a bunch of stuff before I leave on Thursday for Florida.

gayle

Whoops

I have been so lost in polishing my chapters I did not realize I missed posting at my blog.

Here is some news: Chapter 49 is now 3 chapters. Yes, I did a bit of rewriting, scene enhancement and in fact adding scenes. I cannot believe how much I have done these past couple of days.

Now I am in the middle of deciding what to do with Chapter 50. Only polishing is left because the scene I added is done. But then what to do with the ending. my my. I have the end as was originally planned but now I have heard a compelling argument that the story should not end where I had it.

For me,I am happy with the ending. But I understand not everyone will be satisfied and will want what I have a hard time writing - romance. I suck at it. I struggle so with the words to describe how two people feel. Perhaps that is why my story is so heavy on business and angst and mystery. It is easier for me to write that.

I did some romance in the story but not much. Now what to do? what to do?

When I started I wanted a story for my two sons. They are not romance readers. Mystery and angst would work - even soft porn (or hard core I don't know - they are in their 30's) but I would not allow them to even say a vulgar word in front of me!

Now it is not like I have not had romances because I have. But to write about it will take much effort and I will need to overcome my inhibitions in putting it to words.

I guess I will do this. I will end my story my way. I will ask my readers which they prefer - a 12 chapter Book III or an epilogue. I will also warn them of my fears about my writing this way. I do have a great 5-years later outline but the couple or so chapters before then would be tough for me to write.

So anyone reading this post feel free to comment and let me know what you want.

gayle

Happy New Year!

Today I overslept! me - lol I rarely oversleep but then I am rarely up to 1:30 in the morning. The dinner and the card party went well and all us single women came - couple of widows and the rest divorced and one woman that has been married for 25 years but has never actually lived with her husband only visits for a couple of weeks at a time - maybe that is why it works. I know living with mine did not. lol

My story is quickly coming to a close. I have been convinced to add a few additional chapters instead of the telling paragraphs in the epilogue. In fact I am thinking of scraping the epilogue all together. I would just pick up where Chapter 50 ends.

Speaking of chapters - yikes my chapter 49B is over 8000 words. Heck combined with the 6000 words for 49A that is one long, long chapter. 14,000 words is a short story. lol When I revise the story I will have to find a way to shorten it by about 10 chapters and yet here I am adding another 10 (or so) chapters to the end. An epic.

I originally planned to write a 24 chapter book - that is all my outline said. 24 chapters.

Over the years I have become quieter. I used to talk a lot. a lot. But I grew tired of people walking away mid-sentence, so I became to hold back. I try to be more judicious with my conversations and have learned many years ago it was much more fun to watch the entertainment from the outskirts. So I have spent years observing and have learned much more than I had anticipated.

I find it interesting who is left out of conversations and what their reaction is. One friend grows very quite, another injects herself into the conversation. When men are added to the mix it is hilarious to watch. Men are such simple creatures, really they are. They are cavemen still. Food, drink, woman and of course that most important trait - competition.

Well, off to write another couple thousand words and I am afraid I will have to split chapter 49B. It seem to be taking a life of its own and I cannot stop. I must stop. Well, perhaps I should stop.

All day I shall remain in my sweats, drinking coffee, and talking aloud to my muse. A little music and a lot of time with "my men."

till tomorrow.

gayle